Will someone please explain to me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Will someone please explain to me...
24
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 4:51pm

why everyone suggests nicknames here?

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Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 7:50pm
I wonder this too. I always figured that nicknames were something that came about as time went on rather than something that was planned for. But then we aren't big on nicknames in my family.
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Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 8:30pm

Here's my 2 cents...

I plan on naming my first daughter Wilhelmina and calling her Willa. I love the name Wilhelmina, but it's rather long, and I want her to have a nickname (at least when she's a little girl) that is shorter and simpler. Some people say "I'm going to name my son Alexander, and I don't want anyone to shorten it." but they have no control over that. When he's five everyone else might start calling him Al, and there's nothing they can do about it. Other people (I assume people who think like you) just use nicknames as first names...Katie, Nate, Ellie, etc., but I think those names look unfinished. Also, some nicknames work well for kids but not for adults...Katie is cute on a five year old, but a 25 year old might want to go by the more mature "Katherine".

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Registered: 01-05-2003
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 8:41pm

My feeling on this is that if a name can be shortened in any way then someday someone is going to do it whether we like it or not.

Mommy to Lawson Michael Binghua - born 8/8/06
miscarriage in November 2007 at 7 weeks
miscarriage in April 2008 at 8 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 10:26pm

There are a number of reasons why nicknames work well for people.
One reason is that when honoring a family member, people often like to have a nn to differentiate between the two--give the child both the honor of the family name along with his or her own individual take on it. We almost named our second child Margaret NN Greta (after my Great Grandma Margaret and my sister NN Maggie) for that reason. Or you can love the idea of a family name, but not really LOVE the name itself--so you'd use a NN instead. For example, we almost named our first child Charles (family name), but would have called him Charlie, since I'm not crazy about Charles. I loved Charlie though and I loved the idea of honoring the family member.

Other times it is a way to offer the child a more childish option for when they are young. A Jimmy can just be James later on in life.

Historically, there weren't as many names to choose from, which is why there are so many nns for stalwarts like Mary, Elizabeth, Katherine, etc. That's why you'll see so many nns that don't seem to have any connection with the full name. People just needed more options back then, so Molly became a nn for Mary and Daisy became a nn for Margaret, and so on. And it's certainly possible to love both the full name and the nickname equally and not really want to choose between the two. If you love Elizabeth, but think it's a mouthful on a day-to-day basis, why not just use Liza instead? I think a lot of people feel that way. Some names just seem to big for everyday, but the nn is too small for the the birth certificate.

There is certainly a lot to be said for having a more formal aspect to a name. Even a crazy, artistic, adult Daisy might enjoy having her credit card billed to Margaret Jones.

In the end, though, you are basically asking why some people like blue while others like green. Some people like formal names, some like more casual names. Some like honoring family members entirely, some just like giving family members' names a nod. Some just like having more options. My daughter, Lily, goes by Lily most of the time, but also by Lou, for her middle name, Louise. And I gave her that mn with that nn in mind.
I just like the option.

:) Amy

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Registered: 10-01-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 11:05pm

Personally I think of nn's as something personal. Like my youngest son Riorden goes by Rory to the people close to him, but i don't expect people who don't know him to call him Rory until they know him and are close to him. Personally my three children Riorden, Braidyn, and Brennan go by Rory, Braidy, and Brenn at home with their family because, right now these nn's suit them. And when i go out with Riorden sometimes it is just easier to introduce Riorden as Rory, instead of getting the (oh, thats an interesting name kind of question)
I also don't think nn's are only supposed to be off of the child's name. I have called Brennan, POP,since he was a baby because he loves Ice pop's, and he answers to pop, and I think it is a cute nickname, but I don't call him that all the time, and no one else really does either, but everyone knows i am talking about brennan when i call POP!
my husband calls Braidyn, Bray, when nobody else does, and I think it is a very personal nn that i think is a good thing, and it is sweet.

I sometimes think that people who are so against nn's are afraid of a child having a personality,because i can't see any bad in a nn, nn's come from a personality in my opinion. I never understood the "name your child EXACTLY what you plan on calling your child every time you talk to them" concept. I personally think it is restricting who that child is and/or will be. I mean, who gets angry if someone calls your son Nicholas, Nick. Is it really that big of a deal that you shoud say to them (im sorry, he goes by nicholas only)i doubt nicholas will be scarredv from being called nick

I think if a nn just never happens that its different, but if you are forcing a child, never to be called anything but the complete formal name, that is just you forcing your child and everyone else to go by your personal preference.

I don't think that every child needs to have a nickname or every child should be called any nickname by anybody. thats not what I mean. And i am not trying to be mean or harsh it just gets me upset sometimes when people say it is wrong of peope to call there children by anything but there full first name, like I am doing something wrong by calling my children something that both my children and my family enjoy calling them.

I know I just ranted but i got upset ...lol
maybe i am alone and completely wrong but these are my feelings.
CJ
momy to Brenn, Braidy, and Rory

Avatar for devonelisa
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 5:39am

Isn't it obvious?

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Registered: 06-17-2003
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 12:49pm

I know what you mean ... and I totally agree. As I've been trying to come up with names - first for my son who is now 2 and now for a daughter due in September - that's all I hear from friends/family. "What will the nickname be?" I wanted my son's name to be "Sebastian" but the whole nickname debate freaked everyone out so much that I finally let my husband choose the eventual name (Zachary a.k.a. "Zach"). And now as I go back and forth on girl names (deciding this time NOT to tell my relatives in advance), my husband is stuck on the nickname thing too. I always tell him we will use the full name -- not a nickname (lots of names I like have common nicknames that I dislike). However, he believes that peers (not children themselves and not their parents) are prone to nickname people and that it will happen regardless. I disagree, but I have heard enough about it that I've begun to keep nickname possibilities in the back of my head as one of the criteria I consider.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 1:15pm
I agree 100%! But that's just us. It's up to us all to name & call our children as we please. I am definitely NOT a fan of nns, tho, especially (as you said) when the nn doesn't really seem to fit the real name. I know someone who wanted to "call" their dd Allie. Well, Allie had to be a nn for the mn because they were going to use a different fn but still call her Allie. How confusing!! Finding the right name for our boys was a job in itself ... I can't imagine the extra work they had to go thru to figure out this child's name (& the explanations they had to give to us all so we'd understand!). My boys all have names that could be given a nn to (especially my Christopher). He's now 9 & some (including dh) are starting to call him Chris. I figured it would happen but I & most others still call him Christopher.
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 1:29pm

I agree with things that have already been said, but I wanted to add a few things. I think that a formal name with a NN gives the child a lot of flexibility. My niece is Katherine. Ever since she was born she's been Katie. Last year, as she was entering HS, she decided that she wanted to be called Kate. She's told my sister than when she goes to college she may ask everyone to call her Katherine.

The other thing I want to add is that you can't assume because you don't use a NN no one else will. My DS is Benjamin, nn Ben. His best friend is Timothy (that's waht his parents always call him and how he's introduced). Guess what all of the kids at school call TImothy - Tim. The kids have done it on their own. Ben and Tim have known each other since they were babies and they call each other Benny and Timmy. I HATE the nn "Benny" but it doesn't bother my Ben at all. We have friends who "don't believe" in nns. Their oldest DD is Caitlyn (never Cate) and their youngest DD is Anna. Well somewhere along the line Anna decided she liked to be called Nan. No one calls Anna anything but Nan now - despite the parents protests.

Michelle (who is Shelley to her family and Mich to her DH)

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Registered: 05-09-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 2:52pm

I was Elizabeth until the 7th grade :) and my sister is Samantha and only Samantha (although she campaigns for Sammie -- ugh). My mother is Patricia "Pat" (another ugh) and my father is Alvin "Buddy". I've always wondered why my grandparents did that to him. His siblings are Daniel, Jr "Dan" and Glenda. So it's not a "thing" with them. They just call Alvin "Buddy" for some reason. Not sure what Dad goes by now lol as I only hear him being called "Dad", "honey", and "PaPaw".
I have a Christopher and a Nicholas. My dh is Chris so I only occasionally call my ds by that name. Most of the time he is Christopher and to his father and some other members of the family he is "Junior". But I think I (occasionally) and his play- and class-mates are the only ones who call him Chris. Now Nicholas is a different story. I always planned on calling him "Nicky" until he was born and we could tell (and still can) that he is just NOT a "Nicky". Most of the time he is Nicholas to me, unless I <1> have already called his name 5 times and know that the final "NICK!" might just get his attention finally, or <2> am referring to something that is his: "Nicholas's" is a tongue-twister to me so I just say "Nick's".
Nicknames are just natural to me, personally. I myself was SO relieved to finally become "Liz Robinson" in the 7th grade. "Elizabeth Robinson" was getting to be a real hassle to write all the time :o)

~ Liz ~
mom to Christopher and Nicholas



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