Question for a friend, your opinions....
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| Sat, 12-17-2005 - 6:28pm |
Best friend is pregnant with #3, won't find the sex out until the 22nd of this month. She and her DH have this "deal" that HE gets to name it if its a girl and SHE gets to name the baby if its a boy. (They have 2 boys already--Pierce and Kyle.) So she came up with the name she thought was "it" and ran it by her DH. His response to it was this, "No, that's stupid!" REALLY hurt her feelings and made her VERY angry. I personally liked the name, but want to hear what others think. She is very interested to see what people on the board say. Here is the name:
Robert Anthony
(Robert being her father's name. She is an only child and very close to her Dad, so she chose Robert to honor him. I think her plan is to call him Bobbie when he is little.) We aren't sure why her DH hated the name so much, she was too angry to discuss it wit him !! ;)
Theresa

That's actually pretty odd, because when I read the beginning of your post I thought for sure it was because the name she thought was "it" was something really unusual (dad's are much less likely to like an unusual name on a boy rather than a girl, in my experience). Imagine my surprise when I found out the name was the very traditional Robert Anthony!
The only problem I could even imagine would be if he thought the names were all different styles, but even then I can't understand how naming him after her father (with a normal name like Robert) could be called stupid.
I am wondering, though ... you mentioned that she's very close to her dad, but is he? Even if she believes the two are close, there may be some tension there she's not even aware of. If that's the case, he may simply not want to name his child after her father, and it may have nothing to do with the name itself. Just a thought.
Anyway, good luck to her! :)
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Like the previous posters, I was surprised when I got to the name, and really I was surprised by her husband's choice of words even if the name was really horrible. I've been collecting and studying names for 18 years and, believe me, I've come across some that qualify as *stupid* and worse, but I'd find a gentler way to dissuade even a complete stranger. Robert is not a name I've ever much liked, but I can't find anything really objectionable about it. I suspect your friend's husband has some kind of negative association, if not with his father-in-law then perhaps with another Robert from his past. Or, I could imagine him being offended that she wants to pass on her father's name if, perhaps, he suggested making their first son a junior and she refused.
Whatever the reason, if he feels that strongly about it Robert Anthony is never really going to work as *the name* (though he definitely owes her an explanation and a big apology). Personally, Robert does sound a little off to me with Pierce and Kyle (both of which I like much better). I do think there is a tendency these days to worry too much about sibling names *matching* or *fitting*, and while the three don't make a perfect set to my ear, they don't sound really wrong either... although Pierce, Kyle and Bobbie doesn't really work for me (Bob and Bobbie are pretty rare these days, Rob and Robbie being the preferred diminutives right now. That may mean that it's about time for some brave parents to try to resurrect them, granted, but Pierce and Kyle are more current and not in that retro-cool category).
In her place, I would consider Robert, because of the family significance, for a middle name but not for the first, and with the dad-to-be's reaction, that sounds like the only option. I happen to like Anthony Robert better on it's own and with the older brothers' names, if that's something both parents would consider (I like Antony or Anton even better, especially with Pierce and Kyle). If her husband objects to Robert in any place, perhaps her father's middle name or last name (presumably her maiden name) would work for a first or middle name. If all else fails, she might honour her father in another way by asking him to help her chose a name that has siginificance for both of them because of it's meaning or because of the family's culture or history. This might perhaps be a name that relates to his occupation (many occupational surnames are popular as given names right now), that reflects their place of origin (either from the appropriate language or the name of a city, state, etc.), a name that expresses their faith or values in it's meaning or history, or the name of someone her father admires. If the baby can't be named after his grandfather, the grandfather can be a part of the naming process, still ending up with a choice that is meaningful and a legacy.
Good luck to her, and if you find out what your friend's husband hates so much about the name, I'm definitely curious!
Josie
I think it is a very respectable name. I personally like the more traditional names for boys. I try to think of how their names will reflect upon them when they are grown and in the corporate world or whatever they do. To me the "little boy" names are probably not going to gain as much respect as those that are the more traditional manly names. But I could be wrong. Just my opinion. I also look at what would look good on the back of a football or baseball jersey for a little leager. Just an idea. I think Robert Anthony is beautiful and very distinguished. You can do quite a bit with it. Robert...Bobbie, Bob, Rob, Robbie Anthony...Tony, A.
And tell your friend not to get too upset about the response from the DH name. Sometimes people say really stupid things or their responses are a little more forceful than necessariy without them realizing it. This too shall pass, chalk it up as an airhead moment for DH.