Naming etiquette question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Naming etiquette question
14
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 4:45pm

So DH and I have a girls name that we agree on. I have always liked this name, and it was on the list for our first child (who is a boy). It is everything we're looking for...no nicknames, not too frilly, and goes well with our last name (which is the most difficult criteria to meet!). Problem is, it is the name of our good friend's ex-g/f. He broke up with her this summer after 1.5 years. We are having such a hard time picking a name, and this one is perfect but for this glitch. What would you do? Would you use it? Should we talk to our friend about it, or keep plugging through some more names?

I actually posted this in my previous post asking for girls name suggestions, but I don't think anyone saw it and I need some opinions. Thank you!!!

Kimberly
EDD #3 3/7/08

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:45pm

I think it really depends on the circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:56pm
I agree with PP, whether the name is more common or unique to the ex may make a difference. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. The friend may remember that you had it on your list with your first child as well, and understand that it is just a name you have always loved. Also, in the big picture/long term scheme of things, 1.5 years worth of a girlfriend is practically nothing compared to a child you will have forever. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 8:30pm

Unfortunately, everyone would definitely associate this name (which is Sabrina,btw) with the ex-g/f. It is not all that common. Another reason we like it is that it is an alternative to the more popular Samantha, which was going to be our first son's name if he was a girl. Since then (it's been 7 years), I've come to know so many little Samanthas that the name doesn't appeal to me that much anymore...

Kimberly
EDD #3 3/7/08

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 9:01pm
If I liked the name that much then i'd go with it but on a side note,do u think u may be liking the name so much b/c it feels like forbidden terriority kinda?Like how you want something so much more when u can't have it..KWIM?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 12:13am
I tend to think that parents should use the names they love and think would be best for their children, and that others for the most part just need to accept the parents' choices; but of course, there are exceptions. If the break-up was particularly ugly or sad, if she was "the one" and left him unexpectedly, or etc., then personally, I would talk to my friend about it before making my final decision.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 8:32am

Nah, wasn't an ugly break up at all. I'm sure my friend wouldn't mind us using the name either, we just need to keep looking I guess and see if there are any other possibilities. I just want to be 100% comfortable with a name, KWIM?

My #1 problem is our last name that ends in the "-ee" sound (italian "i"). Every girls name I like ends like this or has a nn that ends like that and would sound really bad with our name. That is really limiting our choices....I never had this problem with boys names. I'll see a name and think it's great, and then I put it with our ln and, well, blech!!! Heck, my own first name doesn't really go with our ln. You guys are so helpful, though, I'll keep you posted.

Kimberly
EDD #3 3/77/08

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 11:17am
That's a touchy one. I'd say it would depend on how close of a friend he is, how devastated he was by the breakup, whether he had bad feelings about her, etc. Also, how common a name is it? If it's more common, I'd be more inclined to say use it.

I dated a man for five years who has a great/unique name, and it would be one likely to show up on a lot of boy's lists, but I do think it would be odd if my best friends chose that name for a son. I would get over it, but it would be difficult at first, I think.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 11:21am
Now that I've read the other posts...

What about Serena or Sabina (variant on the French Sabine)? Selene or Celine might also be nice choices.

If he's a really close friend, can you run it by him and just see how he reacts?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 12:51pm

Finding a name that you both agree on is hard enough. So I can completely understand being upset that you think you may not be able to use Sabrina. However, let's say you do

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Thank you, Elena (el
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 1:01pm

Just as a side note, my name is the same as my uncle's ex girlfriend. I mean from back when I was born. No one seemed to care????? And it NEVER comes up anymore. Just when I'm specifically talking about names with my mom or past stuff etc.

Karen

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