Neither my family nor my husband's family has any influence, at all, on my choice, with one exception: my mom is an angel who NEVER tells me her opinion on a name unless I specifically ask her to give me her thoughts about a specific name. And she's so sweet, she completely understands that even if she dislikes a name, I still might use it. In fact, she has always said that it's important for me to make this choice, not someone else.
I never talk names with anyone else, and when they give me unsolicited opinions or name suggestions, I say, "Thanks, I'll consider that," or "That's something to think about," and I change the subject. And honestly, if someone were to suggest a name I liked, I would addit to the list for consideration. But even if I dislike a suggested name, I say thanks, even if my real plan is never to think about that name again. It avoids needless arguments.
I can understand wanting to choose a name that the families like, but in my case, that's just too many people -- there's no way they would all ever agree on a name, much less a name that I like.
I leave room for what they might find offensive (nasty people they've known, connotations that I might not have thought of,) but the final decision, based on taste, is up to my husband and myself. If they simply don't like a name we mention, that's not a big issue. They can have opinions and I'm glad if they're stated, but if I'm set on a name, it's not going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back (and it might be helpful if I'm undecided.)
I think you have a good perspective with the taste issue. I like to think about it like this- DH and I certainly don't have the same tastes as our parents in terms of music, clothing, home decor, etc. so why would I expect us to like the exact same names? Therefore, I'm preparing myself for the fact that they probably won't like our baby name options (I'm going to try so hard to keep them to myself anyway and avoid comments), but if they did find out and make a negative comment, I'm sure it would still probably hurt my feelings a little.
I love my mom and mil to death, except during baby naming times. This time my mom had the guts to “name” our baby in her Christmas newsletter, even though I pointed out, multiple times, that we haven’t 100% decided on a name. It just happened to be the name she most loved of the ones we are currently discussing.
We had/have this same problem...our mothers especially were problems. It's like this was a second chance for them to name their baby.
I have a mom who feels it necessary to
Proud Mommy to Andrew (14), Madison (8) and Sage born 3/28
Neither my family nor my husband's family has any influence, at all, on my choice, with one exception: my mom is an angel who NEVER tells me her opinion on a name unless I specifically ask her to give me her thoughts about a specific name. And she's so sweet, she completely understands that even if she dislikes a name, I still might use it. In fact, she has always said that it's important for me to make this choice, not someone else.
I never talk names with anyone else, and when they give me unsolicited opinions or name suggestions, I say, "Thanks, I'll consider that," or "That's something to think about," and I change the subject. And honestly, if someone were to suggest a name I liked, I would addit to the list for consideration. But even if I dislike a suggested name, I say thanks, even if my real plan is never to think about that name again. It avoids needless arguments.
I can understand wanting to choose a name that the families like, but in my case, that's just too many people -- there's no way they would all ever agree on a name, much less a name that I like.
Why not just NOT tell them before the baby is born?
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Mom to triplets Genevieve Rose, Charlotte Elise, and Nathaniel Bennett, and Amelia Jane. We have twins on the way, September 2009.
I heard about people keeping the name secret until the baby was born and I admired their self-restraint.
Just remember, especially as much as
Thanks belle_petite for the siggy!
I love my mom and mil to death, except during baby naming times. This time my mom had the guts to “name” our baby in her Christmas newsletter, even though I pointed out, multiple times, that we haven’t 100% decided on a name. It just happened to be the name she most loved of the ones we are currently discussing.