dads who dont like mom's names
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dads who dont like mom's names
| Sat, 04-12-2008 - 2:38pm |
hey all you women who say you love your names but your husband doesnt like it...while his opinion counts somewhat...with all due respect aren't YOU the one pushing this kid out? its hard to agree with your hubby on the perfect name but DONT go with something you dont like just because he finally finds a name he likes.

You will find a wide variety of views on this issue! Every family probably needs to decide this one for itself.
My husband really wants the baby to have his last name, and it means a lot to him. I was unwilling to agree to that unless I could choose the first name, since I had wanted a hyphenated last name. We both negotiate for a living, so we talked it out, I stuck to my guns, and we finally agreed: baby will have his last name, but the first name is up to me. I get to choose the middle name, as well, and he can choose a second middle name, if he likes. I can see that he is not wild about all of the names I am coming up with, but he is living with it, and he has to live with it. After all, we both gave up something to get something and to achieve a balance.
I ditto this...in any healthy marriage, compromise is more important than "but I did..." If he's being a cuss, that's an issue...but it doesn't mean you have to be one back. That just creates tension and backbiting at a time you don't need it. Most people can find a middle ground. Besides, in most cases, the man may not be carrying and pushing out the child...but he's the one living with a pregnant woman, staying by you in the delivery room, maybe even earning most of the household funds for the duration of maternity leave. Men may not have the physical burden, but they are every bit an equal part of the parenting situation and need to be treated as such.
(Sorry...I've just seen so many men who, in trying not to be like past generations, let their wives have their way in everything from baby names to which grandparents are invited to birthday parties. I just can't be convinced that's healthy. Balance is key!)