In hot water with In-Laws!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
In hot water with In-Laws!!!
21
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:19am

Hello all - this is really long and I apologize but, I need help.


I have a dilemma that goes back 4 years now - and it is has now become an issue - a big one.

Stacey - Mom to Liam, Kylie, Keira and soon-to-be Baby Jake

Conveyancing

Pages

Avatar for midwestmom2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:28am

Oh my gosh, you've already named 2 of your children after your DH's family - and are agreeing to use a family name as a middle name on your next child. I think you have done plenty. This is your child to and you need to stand up and insist he will be Jacob William (or whatever version you agree on).


Your DH and his family are being very selfish. Your FIL had a chance to name his son William Kirk II and he did not choose to do so. He can't insist that you do that now. And the aunt was way out of line to get involved.


I am sending you lots of ~~strength~~ vibes as you take your stand. If I were you, I would not discuss names with any of the family (except your DH) and then announce the name after the child is born. Your ILs will get over it (and if they don't, then they are being petty).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:32am
While I do love using family names, I think you need to be firm with him and make your opinion heard. Seems like he has made the decisions for the past kids, and now it's your turn. Jacob William nn Jake is perfect. It is a nice compromise- and he has to learn to compromise!


                             
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:53am

I totally agree with the post above me. Number 1: you already have not 1 but 2 babies named after his family members with a William on the way. Number 2: Its YOUR baby too, you have to be strong with your opinions. And number 3: Its really none of their business what you name your DS.


Just remind your DH that you have compromised the names you've loved to add his family names. You're compromising AGAIN for the 3rd time with William as the mn. I say go for Jacob William (which is a wonderful combo!!) and let them get over it.

Heather


My Boy Favs: Cohen, Cooper, Conner, Corbin


My Girl Favs: Marissa, Sophie, Amelia, Kiera

Heather

Favorite Names (of the moment):

Kellan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:54am

I completely agree! His family is being completely out of line, using William as the middle name IS naming your son after your father in law! That should be fine!


I am sorry that they are being so difficult! I am expecting another little girl in September and my husband is being stubborn because he thinks just because our first daughter's middle name is after my mom (which by the way was HIS idea, not mine!) that our second daughter also needs to have a family name and this time from HIS family.

Avatar for dr_kae
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:59am

I'm all for keeping peace in the family, but that means compromise. And you're not the one unwilling to compromise. You made a promise to DISCUSS it, not a promise to follow through on it, and you even made that in a time of extreme emotional difficulty.

I'd stick to your guns and, if people keep pushing you, stage a bit of an intervention of your own. Explain it simply: "It's not that I don't care about your feelings, but DH misunderstood what I said. William was never an option as a first name because I ALREADY have a William." (This might be the tricky bit, but explain the Liam/William connection.) "And I don't want to sound like George Foreman's feeling. I'm sorry that this has been so confusing, but it just feels awkward and it wouldn't be fair to the Liam I already have to have to share his name with his younger brother." And if they keep pushing...well, you tried. But you are going to have to convince DH not to let his aunt push him around--discuss it directly with his father, because these things are always worse when they're going through an overly-involved middleman. (I mean, dang...that aunt needs to back down. If your FIL has issues and really wants a namesake, he's not proving it by letting his sister do the talking for him.)


<Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2006
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 2:22pm

Wow.

siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 2:27pm

a baby name needs to be a joint decision by the parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:50pm
I don't have much to add in addition to what the other posters have said, but I just wanted to voice my support. Stick to your guns - William as a middle name is a fine compromise. It is YOUR child, not your in-laws', and a child's name should be a personal decision between the two parents.

The in-laws might be miffed for awhile. Let them lick their wounds (unjustified though they may be) and they will get over it eventually.

Sheesh. I'd like to give that aunt a piece of my mind.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 4:29pm
I think you should stick with Jake William. Youre honoring

                   &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 5:09pm
not to mention William Kirk makes you sound like a trekkie...(William Shatner/Capt. Kirk)

Pages