In hot water with In-Laws!!!
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In hot water with In-Laws!!!
| Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:19am |
Hello all - this is really long and I apologize but, I need help.
I have a dilemma that goes back 4 years now - and it is has now become an issue - a big one.

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Oh my gosh, you've already named 2 of your children after your DH's family - and are agreeing to use a family name as a middle name on your next child. I think you have done plenty. This is your child to and you need to stand up and insist he will be Jacob William (or whatever version you agree on).
Your DH and his family are being very selfish. Your FIL had a chance to name his son William Kirk II and he did not choose to do so. He can't insist that you do that now. And the aunt was way out of line to get involved.
I am sending you lots of ~~strength~~ vibes as you take your stand. If I were you, I would not discuss names with any of the family (except your DH) and then announce the name after the child is born. Your ILs will get over it (and if they don't, then they are being petty).
I totally agree with the post above me. Number 1: you already have not 1 but 2 babies named after his family members with a William on the way. Number 2: Its YOUR baby too, you have to be strong with your opinions. And number 3: Its really none of their business what you name your DS.
Just remind your DH that you have compromised the names you've loved to add his family names. You're compromising AGAIN for the 3rd time with William as the mn. I say go for Jacob William (which is a wonderful combo!!) and let them get over it.
Heather
My Boy Favs: Cohen, Cooper, Conner, Corbin
My Girl Favs: Marissa, Sophie, Amelia, Kiera
Heather
Favorite Names (of the moment):
Kellan
I completely agree! His family is being completely out of line, using William as the middle name IS naming your son after your father in law! That should be fine!
I am sorry that they are being so difficult! I am expecting another little girl in September and my husband is being stubborn because he thinks just because our first daughter's middle name is after my mom (which by the way was HIS idea, not mine!) that our second daughter also needs to have a family name and this time from HIS family.
I'm all for keeping peace in the family, but that means compromise. And you're not the one unwilling to compromise. You made a promise to DISCUSS it, not a promise to follow through on it, and you even made that in a time of extreme emotional difficulty.
I'd stick to your guns and, if people keep pushing you, stage a bit of an intervention of your own. Explain it simply: "It's not that I don't care about your feelings, but DH misunderstood what I said. William was never an option as a first name because I ALREADY have a William." (This might be the tricky bit, but explain the Liam/William connection.) "And I don't want to sound like George Foreman's feeling. I'm sorry that this has been so confusing, but it just feels awkward and it wouldn't be fair to the Liam I already have to have to share his name with his younger brother." And if they keep pushing...well, you tried. But you are going to have to convince DH not to let his aunt push him around--discuss it directly with his father, because these things are always worse when they're going through an overly-involved middleman. (I mean, dang...that aunt needs to back down. If your FIL has issues and really wants a namesake, he's not proving it by letting his sister do the talking for him.)
Wow.
a baby name needs to be a joint decision by the parents.
The in-laws might be miffed for awhile. Let them lick their wounds (unjustified though they may be) and they will get over it eventually.
Sheesh. I'd like to give that aunt a piece of my mind.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
&nbs
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