Baby's last name
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Baby's last name
| Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:27pm |
I'm still in my first trimester and already me and my boyfriend are arguing on the baby's last name. He thinks that as the father of the child, the baby should automatically have his last name. My view on it is, we aren't't married and have no immediate plans of getting married. The baby is just as much a part of me as it is

I had the same problem. We ended up hyphenating our babies last name. At the time I had the baby, my boyfriend was talking as if he did not want to get married anytime soon (which was his way of surprising me). So we signed the birth certificate with the hyphenated last name. Shortly after we got engaged and got married right before my babies 2nd birthday. I wish I would have just given him daddy's last name because I still have not got around to changing his last name. It took me a long time
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I am all for equal rights for men and women and women having all the opportunities men do... BUT, I also think that using your last name might cause confusion. People might assume an absent father, or when the child grows up, assume that his father didn't care. I don't know that this is what *your* child would think, but I am trying to put myself in the shoes of someone whose parents weren't married when I was born and what I would think. I do agree that hyphentation is just too long. I grew up with a few kids who had hyphenated last names, for different purposes, and pretty much all of them dropped one by the time they got to high school. I would also hesitate because you said- "I've brought up the fact that later down the road if we get married the baby's name can be changed" Just seems like extra work.
So, if I was in your shoes, I would give the baby the father's last name.