Is it appropriate to name a child aft...

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Registered: 03-11-2005
Is it appropriate to name a child aft...
7
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 4:02pm

Is it appropriate to name a child after a deceased sibling?



  • Our son died 4 years ago at the age of 10.
  • We would like to use his name as our daughter's mn.
  • .....
  • Please vote and/or post your point of view!!!!
  • .....
  • I would honor him in this way.
  • I would not honor him in this way.
  • I would use a variation of his name.


You will be able to change your vote.


Avatar for mjandrew74
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Registered: 08-25-2003
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 4:10pm

I posted below regarding this but wanted to let you know I voted for using a variation of his name.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 6:47pm

I voted that I would honor him in this way. I'd also be open to using a variation of the name if one were obvious and if that was your preference, but I replied to your post below earlier (and thus know the name in question) and can't really think of any alternative feminine forms that would work. Therefore I think it would be perfectly acceptable to use the exact name as your dd's mn. No one should make you feel bad about that ... it's a lovely sentiment, really.

~Kelli


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Registered: 10-27-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 12:04am

A century ago, it was common to name a child exactly after a predeceased sibling (usually of the same sex, though), I believe I read recently that both Salvador Dali and Vincent Van Gogh were named in this way (though, a five-minute flip through my current library books didn't turn up the reference, so I'm not 100% sure). So, I would say it is appropriate in a traditional sense, but something to be cautious about. You want your daughter to feel as though she is valued for herself and not expected to be a replacement for the brother she never knew or to live up to his legacy. I think using his name or a variation of it as a middle name provides a good balance, allowing for both her individuality and recognition of your son's ongoing presence in your family. Depending on your religious beliefs, perhaps you might one day explain to her that in giving her his name, you are connecting her to the brother you believe is watching over her and protecting her.

After reading the previous posts in this thread, I looked to your earlier thread where you discuss Austin in particular. I'm not really fond of the boy-names-for-girls phenomenon, but I think it is workable as a middle name. Using it as her first name, because it is still a predominantly masculine name, I think would be too much; it might contribute to the sense that she is expected to fill his shoes. (After all, as brilliant as they were, Dali and Van Gogh aren't exactly the most well-adjusted role models). I would keep it as a middle name with a more feminine first name. If your preference is for unisex names for girls, I would consider those that are predominantly feminine in current usage. So, for example, Sydney Austin or Avery Austin are unisex names that would generally be presumed to be a girl, while Mackenzie Austin, Riley Austin or Ryan Austin are too ambiguous and would often be presumed male. Alternatively, you could try a feminine first name with a more unisex nickname, such as Theodora Austin nn Teddie, or Michaela Austin nn Mickey. Of course, if you love any feminine names that sound pleasant paired with Austin, that would be even better.

One other thing that no one seems to have mentioned yet: While I have seen Austine as a feminine form of Austin, it is extremely rare and not very appealing, in my opinion. However, the name Austin originated as an English contraction of the Latin Augustine. So, if you're open to a variation, Augustine, August or Augusta would all be possibilities, as a more subtle way to pay tribute to your son. I think Augusta is different enough from Austin to work as a first name, even, while maintaining the connection to Austin in a way that doesn't force your daughter to think of him every time she hears her own name, and it actually works fairly well amid the other 'classical' names currently being revived such as Sophia and Eleanor (I recently came across two newborn Mildreds, in fact!).

I hope that provides at least one option for whatever your primary taste in names is. Good luck!

Josie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 8:34am
I voted for using a variation, but if you use his name as a mn, that would be my choice. Since it wasn't an option I voted for the variation. Good luck!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:21am

<<>>

Actually, using his name as a middle name was the EXACT question at hand.

"We would like to use his name as our daughter's mn."

Just letting you know in case you wanted to change your vote. ;)

~Kelli


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Registered: 07-25-2001
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 5:11pm

I have a friend of the family who lost a son named Josh at age 4- and a silent birth baby named Riley.


Years later they conceived again and named him Briley Josh.


Do what feels right and natural for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 7:18pm

Maybe use a name that means the same as Austin?

Karen

I found out that Austin means exalted and I found Athalia, Aaliyah, Augusta, Austine and Brielle are girl's names that mean exalted also? ??

Edited 7/6/2006 7:24 pm ET by mom_soontobe3




Edited 7/6/2006 7:24 pm ET by mom_soontobe3