How did you decide?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
How did you decide?
15
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 3:31pm

Since me and DH are having such an issue with the name thing, I'm wondering how everybody else decides on a name if you're having trouble? Did one of you have to settle on a name and not pick one you loved? Did you just keep searching until you found the perfect name? How long did it take? Please share your story!

Anjie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 3:56pm
No way...don't settle with a name that you don't love!!! Just keep trying until you and hubby find a name that you both love. It took me 8 months with my first, then my dad suggested the "perfect" name for my ex and I. This time around, my fiance and I played with names for a long time before we started trying to get preggy. We ruled out the definite no-no's and let my daughter pick. She's 8, so she's actually got pretty good taste and she knows what names will get made fun of in school. It's alot easier when daddy has good taste in names, but don't just settle!!! Your perfect name is out there!!! Lotsa luck!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:39pm
I don't think that you have to settle for a name you don't love, but chances are you each won't get your favorite, unless your favorite is the same name, and that's next to impossible. When we were naming our son, at first we were sure it was a girl, don't know why we thought that, but we could agree on about 5 names that either of us were okay with using, but realized that we both loved the same name, so easy.
So of course we had a boy. I have very strict naming guidelines, it must be established, at least making the charts by 1920, as that's when our house was built, it had to be English or Danish in origin, would prefer a family name or one with family significance, or at least for the middle name. I had my favorites, Gus, Eli, and Oliver and he had his favorite, Jonah. We each ruled each other's favorites out because we didn't love them, so we got to work, we decided on William when I was about 6 months, it fit all the criteria which was very hard to do, but then around 7 months, I decided that because I didn't like any of the nn's for William, it was too risky of a choice.
So reading through a baby name book, we came across Hayden, and I said it out loud, he instantly liked it, and so did I. It met all of our requirements, so we completely quit discussing names. We had agreed that Kyle would be the middle name because it was his friend's name that played a big role in us getting together. Plus our last name is long so we wanted a short mn, and Hayden Kyle sounded great and a little southern, which he is. I knew it was gaining in popularity, but since we could both agree, we stuck with it, I thought that because it had been around for so long, it wouldn't be considered a trendy name. I was wrong, and now everyone thinks it is a trendy name, which is exactly the opposite of our style. I didn't do enough research, so I didn't know that people were making up names like Brayden, Kayden, and Jayden, and I certainly didn't know people were using it for girls. I strongly dislike unisex names, so I wouldn't of used it had I known. Anyway, now it is considered a trendy name and it is getting even more popular, but we still only know one and one Aiden. He goes by Hayes now, which is also an old English name, and it fits him prefectly.
I still like name for all the reasons I did before, and I know I won't get to use my favorite, Gus because DH hates it, but he won't get to use his favorite, Jonah, because I can't get on board with it, but its more important that we both like a name than one of us getting our favorite.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 7:32pm

With our first dd, we both loved the name from the start (I had for years, despite it's more-recent popularity LOL), so that was it.

With our younger two girls, we basically got it down to two or three names we were considering and then my dh would leave the actual decision up to me -- which I think works wonderfully. I chose the very-uncommon name I was completely in love with for our 2nd dd, and the rather-popular name my DH was in love with for our 3rd (after we'd agreed on an alternate nn to alleviate my concerns about its popularity LOL).

Naming a child is definitely an exercise in compromise, unless you both happen to love the same name(s), but most seem to be able to find something that works for both parents. You just have to be willing to do the "work" -- which often involves entire lists one of you will shoot down until you find the perfect choice (we definitely had this problem when it came to mns for the younger girls ). Still, I think they were all named by the 7th or 8th month, at the very latest. I assure you, no matter how it feels, there are probably hundreds of names you haven't yet considered or possibly even heard of. You CAN find one you'll both love. ;)

Good luck!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 7:40pm
Just had to mention that I LOVE that Hayden goes by Hayes! We have a family friend by that name (actually his surname, but no one uses his given name LOL), and I've always loved it. I think it avoids the "trendy" appearance you fear rather nicely, and isn't too far removed from the name you originally chose for him. (Sorry for the thread-jack, but I'd wanted to tell you that when I read the "Hayes" comment in another post LOL).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 8:36pm

I picked Elijah...we both agreed....settled....
I picked Isaiah, Nicolas, Sebastian....when he was born we both agreed on Isaiah...settled...
I picked Josiah, hubby said NO WAY...we settled on Joshua before he was born...I have never been ok with it.
I picked Angelina....we both agreed...she was born and I felt she should be a Katerina which was NOT on the list...hubby said NO WAY, because we are already settled....I waited 30 days before filing her birth registration...and still , after a year, I am considering having her name legally changed....

It took the whole 9 months....and THEN SOME...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:28pm
Thanks for commenting on Hayes, I really like it too. Its funny though, I didn't choose William because of the nns, so I chose a name that didn't really have any nns and then this one developed on its own!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:51pm
With my last son my DH would not agree on anything!Of course we agreed on a girls name right away(Aliyah Monique).When I had my ultrasound we had decided for a boy we would go with Devon Mekhi..right after the ultrasound confirming it was a boy,he decided he did'nt like it so..the name search began.At 35 weeks we agreed on Tysen Mekhi...at 37 weeks when he was delivered DH changed his mind while I was having my C-section so..at the last minute he became Ty Amari.I just agreed because I was so stressed about it,now I wish I would have fought harder for a name I loved. Erin
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Registered: 10-19-1999
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 1:51am
1st son the only name we both loved was Christopher, so that's what we went with. 2nd son I told him the names I loved, he agreed with me and we got Andrew. 3rd child dd I also told him what names I loved he told me what names he liked and then I picked Emily a name I loved. LOL He tells me all the time that I picked out all the names and I really did but I tell him no we both decided. LOL I figure I went through the hard work so I better get to pick out the names.
Avatar for prifti
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 9:45am
Well the first time around we had twins and split the difference. Second time we both went in with boy names we prefered but we both liked both names dh felt bad because I had a bad labor so I won. We agreed that if the next one is a boy he will get DHs choice of Alexander which has now sky rocketed in popularity but oh well.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2004
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:47am

We were both really weird we picked out our kids really easily when we found out that we were pregnant with all three. We also like old fashioned names. DS#1 is Robert Walter Allan, Roberts was my maiden name and my Grandfather only has one grandson with Roberts surname and girls run in our family. So that was an easy choice, Walter and Allan are both after DH's grandfathers who both died when DH was young.
DD is Caroline Amethyst Leanne, I wanted Amethyst for her first name and DH didn't so we comprised. Another favorite girls name of mine was Caroline so we settled on that. Leanne was after my old best friend who I fell out of contact with. I had promised my two best friends that one would have her name and the other one would be the Godmother, and they are.
DS#2 is Charles Aaron Eric, Charles is mn if one of DH's Grandfathers, Aaron is DH's name and Eric is my maternal Grandfathers first name.
Jessi is my DSD and her name is actually Jessiann. Her Mum decided that she liked both the names Jessie and Ann and combined the two of them. My DH didn't have a say in it because they broke up well before she was born (bad breakup). DH always wanted to have a little girl and name her Anne. So he was pretty happy with her name when he was informed of her details by letter from her Solictor.

debbie
jessi 04/10/96
robbie 05/10/01
caroline 02/21/03
charlie 01/13/05

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