So...I'm turning 30 in 2 days..UGH...
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|Sat, 04-05-2003 - 7:43pm|
Tonight we are going to my inlaws to celebrate my birthday plus my sil (she turned 27 a couple of days ago). Cool that we are celebrating together, right? I should be happy that they consider me family (dh and I have been married for 9 1/2 years, together for over 14). But I soooo do not want to go over there.
I would be much happier celebrating anyone else's birthday than mine. Secretly I hope for a big celebration *LOL* and I know that is not going to happen. I wouldn't know what to do if it happened *L* I hate being the center of attention. Everyone watching *L*
I guess the sad part is I've always wanted all my kids before I hit 30. So that's not gonna happen. Jay said that in a couple of years we can have another. Once we buy a house but I don't know if I will want one then. All the boys will be in school, man this next fall Jared will start preschool. What the heck am I gonna do then * L*
Anyway.. here I am freakin' out that I'm gonna be 30. I wanted to have all my kids by now, be healthier (lose some weight *LOL*) and meet my dad. Damn.. I didn't know that till I wrote it. It always come back down to that. Man..... that sucks!!!!
brief history for those who don't know. My mom never married him. I have never met him. He refuses to believe I existed. After my Grandpa died in 1995, I made an effort to find him. I made contact w/ his dad who had no idea about me. I was an emotional wreck.
this sucks.. well at least I know what my problem is and now I can get over it.
gonna be 30 *WOW* who would of thought
many blessings to all
Tina w/ Jasen (8) Jacob (5) and Jared (2) this is spring week.. will I survive!?!?