in need of support.. trigs/SI/pills

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
in need of support.. trigs/SI/pills
3
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 12:55pm
I am in need of some support. I am gaining wt and everything I do I can't lose it. I have once again began cutting on myself, I cut at least once a day. I only step on the scale once a day , but lately I only allow myself to step on it 2 times per week, but I can see the fat rolls on my tummy and legs and it is getting me so sick, I have no control, I havent taken a dp in well this will be my 2nd day and I hate it b/c now I know I am going to get even fatter. I am about ready to set my scale on fire, so maybe my ED will go up in smoke also, I can wise can't I? DH is being a A-hole here lately he don't want me to go to the dentist b/c they may take advantage of me. He is complaining that I dont spend time with him, but I spent pretty much all of Sat adn Sunday with him, if I don't spend my every waking moment with him then something is wrong. He refuses to go to Marriage counseling, or even counseling for himself. He calls me and makes me feel like total garbage then he jokes around thinking htat he can get me in a good mood. I think hr likes to make me feel horrible about myself that way he can pick up the pieces and try to make me feel better. I can't take any more. When we go to th estore I have to walk in front of him so no one can check out my bum, I can't bend down to get anything while we are at the store. I am not his wife I am a possession to him who he can have sex with and wehn I dont have sex with him then I am saving myself for someone else, or I don't love him , if only he can see in my heart to see how much I actually do love him, heck I have to love him in order to put up with all of htis crap. sorry to ramble on and on, but i just really need to vent and cry , and scream.. I really need to stop eating but I have no control right bnow all I want ot do is eat and not healthy foods I want to eat junk food.

hugs to you all.

Luv Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 4:49pm
Hey Mary, just sending a little support your way!! You deserve to be happy and I think that marriage counselling would be a step in the right direction. At least you could see if there is anything worth saving and if not you can move on, if so, you can patch it up and make it even better than ever. I hate to see you unhappy and feeling bad about yourself. Be strong and lean on me when you need too. Love ya, Sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:10am
Just wanted to send you some hugs Mary...I sure hope things improve quickly...you deserve to be happy!!

Peace and Hugs~

Christy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 8:09pm
Oh Mary...I wish I could reach out and give you a huge hug...

As much as I value marriage, etc., there are times that I just don't understand some people's motives, etc. I am so mad at your husband for his comments, acts, etc. that make you feel less than wonderful. It isn't fair or right. Take care of yourself...if you need ANYTHING, let me know.

How are your little ones doing? They must be getting so big! YOU NEED TO HANG IN THERE FOR THEM...THEY NEED THEIR MOM! You are an amazing mom...continue to do that as well as you have been...nothing else really matters.

Take care of you...I'm sending lots of love and support!

Kelly