Thank you to everyone (trigs)

Avatar for e1978
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thank you to everyone (trigs)
3
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 1:11am
that replied to my last message. I feel much better now. Yesterday I had a bad day with binging and purging. Today is a new day and I am going to try so hard. I have bought many packets of chewing gum, so when the urge comes to binge and purge then I will chew gum. This has somehow worked in the past.

Yes my husband knows about my eating disorder. I actually told him a few months after the binging and purging started. I didn't know what was happening with me. I had never thought of eating disorders before even though I had been suffering with Exercise Bulimia for about 8 months by then. The food side of my illness started later.

Yes my parents also know because my husband told my Mother when she was in the country I live now visiting. They also know that I am still struggling with this ed. They are only supportive if you take 'their advice and that their advice is the only right way' kind of parents. Apparently they are going to sit down with my husband and discuss what can be done with me while we are visiting them. My husband has promised not to talk about me with them if I am not around.

Does anyone else has sneaky lying ways so that they can do their ed? My husband claims to always know when I have done something now. I don't know how he knows he won't tell me. Nowadays I have very inventive ways to hide it from him. I don't hide what I do because I want an ed, I do it because of how he looks at me when he finds out I have done something. I see in his eyes that he is hurt.

My husband says that this is a selfish disease that takes over everything. He doesn't blame me because it's a mental disease and no one can be blamed for getting such a thing. He just doesn't know how to stop it and doesn't know how to help. He can't be with me 24 hours a day. He said that we will find me a better doctor to go to now.

Thank you once again.

Mise

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 8:04am

Hey there Mise.

Avatar for e1978
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 8:49am
I do really want to get better as my husband and I are soon going to start trying for a child. This is a goal that I know will help me. I know that I don't want to hurt any child that I may have so I know that urge to have a healthy child is more important to me than the urge to purge.

My husband said I have to work on first not purging. We can then work on the binge eating.

I am not as deep into my ed as I use to be so I know that there is hope to getting out of it fully.

I do know that I will always have a bad relationship with food because it's been this way for more than half of my life, but it doesn't have to be an ed relationship does it?

It's going to be ok. I will beat this no matter how long it takes :)

Thank you for your kind words :)

Mise

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 10:06am

Ya know, I post quite frequently (relatively speaking, it is a slow board) on the Pregnant with ED board.