Supermarket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Supermarket
4
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 1:38pm
I saw a really thin girl at the supermarket, and compared the contents of her basket to mine.

Mine: Ronzoni shells, ricotta cheese, tomato sauce; basil. Big bag of plums. Oatmeal.

Hers: LeCarb ice cream, Sugar Free edy's ice cream. Fat free soy dogs. Cans of tuna. Vegetables.

I thought: Wow, she is so thin. What does her face look like.

I thought: her face is eh. She looks drawn and tired. She has a haughty expression. She doesn't look that well.

I thought: Maybe I should put back the pasta and oatmeal. Maybe I don't need groceries at all. Maybe I should buy some le carb ice cream.

I thought: I used to eat what she's eating and little else. Ugh. I don't want tuna. I don't want le carb ice cream. But I still wonder if I should try to look like her again.

I looked around to see if anyone was admiring her.

Um, no one even noticed her.

No one cared that she was underweight.

No one cared that I wasn't underweight.

I thought: You know, trying to cheat my body into being underweight is not nice. I am trying to cheat myself, and I'm trying to be not nice. Here's my new way of thinking, and I put it in a post today already: if I wouldn't do it to my best friend, I won't do it to myself. And I definitely would not try to force my best friend to live on cans of tuna and plain soy dogs.

Soooooo I bought my groceries

And then I went home, made my dinner

(And later on ate all 3 pounds of the plums I had bought, which set me off on a sweets eating rampage that lasted two days, but that's another story...)

Well, who said recovery was easy.

Thanks for letting me share that.

Shortie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: shortie751
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 4:24pm

I like your new way of thinking. Try to stick to it as best as you can and know that if it doesn't always work you are not a bad person. We all run into problems during recovery, the important thing is to let it go and keep moving forward.


Hmm, 3 lbs of plums. What did your tummy feel like after that?

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
In reply to: shortie751
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 5:31pm
Oh, the plums...I think I was really thirsty. You can imagine how my tummy felt...and the silent protest my office mates had to endure all day the next day...

I hope you are laughing...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: shortie751
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 5:47pm
You are right, who said recovery would be easy! The supermarket can be such a trap sometimes. I live in a small town and people at the store know what kind of food I eat, veggies, fruits, fat free stuff. Then for hubby, it is whatever he likes and what I will be making for him. People always comment how healthy I eat and it must be nice to be so in control, yeah right. Little do they know that I will obsess over whatever I am eating, good or bad. Little do they know that at some point I might just freak about what I am eating. Since I own a health club everybody is really paying attention! Anyway, sounds like what you were buying was really healthy! I eat oatmeal every morning, love it!!! I think you are doing great and you are right the girl was too skinny and that isn't what we want for ourselves (well realistically anyway). This is just so darn hard!! You hang in there!! Oh, I think you asked about the club, no news on selling yet, getting frustrated!! Love, Sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
In reply to: shortie751
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 8:16pm
Sharon, hi!

Well, it may take some time to find a buyer. On the other hand, you could get a phone call tomorrow. (I'm sure you have done this already, but here goes) have you contacted any big chains of clubs? I only ask because it seems like everything in New York city right now is being bought by New York Sports Clubs. We have NYSCs at every major intersection, it seems!

Ah, recovery. The search for comfort and happiness and self love. Goodness, it is SO darn hard. It is SO hard!!!!!!

And you are right, to be that skinny is NOT what we want for ourselves, not realistically and not for health and not for looks.

I look forward to the day when Thinspiration is not everywhere I turn. (Might actually have to leave NYC for that day to come, since so many people here are haggard and frail to the extreme. Or maybe just the ones that I take notice of are.)

Well, I see you have another post here and I'm going to read it now

Shortie