It hurts so bad
Find a Conversation
It hurts so bad
| Fri, 10-31-2003 - 12:22pm |
Hi..Ive only really posted here once before always a lurker...I have an ed for 20 years im 36..and its really controling me...sooooooo for the first time im in cousuling I went on Wed...wow its going to be hard...because ive never delt with about 1,000 issues..My question is it "normal" for my eating disorder to get out of control when you first start counseling?..i mean i went on wed and was fine until thursday then i was so upset and focused on making sure nothing enters me..and im working out like crazy..Im so scared of couseling is that okay?...i tend to babble so i will stop for now and go get my kids trick or treating outfits ready...thanks for listening and thanks to those who reply...Debbie

You know, it's interesting that you posted about therapy aggravating the ED, because I was just talking about that very thing with my psychiatrist. I've been in treatment now for 1 year, 8 months...and almost immediately after starting therapy, I gained 70 lbs. Sorry - I hope that doesn't freak you out...just wanted to share my experience.
I think this happened for several reasons. First, I pretty much expected my psychiatrist to wave her magic wand and cure me, so I stopped trying to regulate my weight much myself. And secondly, I think that therapy just stirs up a lot of issues that are very difficult to deal with. One interesting thing I've learned in my psych classes at university is that we only have a certain amount of "energy" for regulating ourselves. So, if you use up some of that energy on dealing with issues brought up in therapy, then you have less energy left over to control your eating disorder.
But, the good news is that eventually, once you work through the issues, they'll be gone, and you'll be able to devote yourself 100% to working on the ED. And with the issues gone, you'll be much more focused and be able to address the ED clearly...without all the "baggage" we have now.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I hope you have a good weekend. Take care -
Grace
Hi Debbie,
I do believe that when you start recovery, whether it's with a therapist, a group, or otherwise, your ED will still act up at times and even flare up worse than before on occasion. This makes sense because you have spent 20 years of your life using ED to deal with life and emotions. Suddenly you are faced with issues that you don't really want to think about or deal with and your natural repsonse is to turn to ED.
Please don't let that scare you
Love & hugs, Kristina
Cadey
Hi Debbie,
Yup, I used to feel guilty and still do at times. It's just another one of our character defects, but even that will get better after a while. Just keep fighting and don't give up. There will be some rough spots but you can make it through those.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Love & hugs, Kristina
It is normal for our eating disorder to escalate sometimes before we get recovery.