NEWBIE HERE

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
NEWBIE HERE
4
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 1:12pm
I have been visiting this site on and off for about a year now but never really had the courage to try to reach out for help. However, now I really need to find a solution to my problems and I've noticed how encouraging and supportive people are here.

My name is Hattie. I'm 18. In my pre-teens I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I never felt like I fit in so I tried to fit in with anyone I could. I started drinking, smoking and using any drug by the time I was 12. I had severe depression and always had difficulty accepting that I was adopted. School was not important. I crashed a lot of cars and partied too much. I don't know where I'm trying to go with all of this, but I really need to get some help. I was raped 4 different times and I've been physically, mentally, sexually and financially abused. By the time I was 17, I was living on my own, engaged and had my 2nd miscarrage. I was selling drugs and using too. My eating habits were so out of control and with the combination of drugs, anorexia, bulimia and depression, my weight had plumeted to the low 80's. After awhile I hit rock bottom and my parents forced me into treatment for drugs. I went to inpatient, then outpatient, a sober school- was expelled for relasping and now I start a new program today. I've seen too many therapists and Drs that I don't know when I will ever get better and I have so many issues to work out that sometimes my ED doesn'y even seem to matter to my family. Right now I'm stressing because I may be pregnant with my ex-fiance's baby and he's been cheating on his girlfriend with me. I don't know what to do anymore. Last night my mother and I got in a big argument and afterwards I was writing a suicide letter! I have never had suicidal thoughts. Please help! I don't know what board I should post on but my ED is a big contribution to my problems! HELP!!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to: lostpawz
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 4:43pm
Hi, my name is Ally, I am 24 years old. My heart goes out to you, you have been thru so much. You will get lots of support here and I hope you feel you can talk to us. Takecare of yourself and know you are NEVER alone...............always here for you,

Much Love

Allyx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lostpawz
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 5:59pm
Welcome to the board and I am so glad that you joined us!! First of all, suicide is not the answer and I think you know that deep down inside. You are young and you have a chance to come out of this. Positive number one, you get to start a new program today and that is starting over and sometimes a fresh start is what we need to make things work. I know this for a fact. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I do how you are feeling. I never did the drugs or alcohol, but the ed I understand. But really all of it happens because of our low self esteem. Please keep coming to the board and the ladies here will support you so much! Welcome again!! Sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lostpawz
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 6:03pm

Hi Hattie, I am glad you decided to post here. It sounds like you have been through quite a bit in your young life and are still going through a lot. Whether this is the right board for you or not is only something you can figure out but I know

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
In reply to: lostpawz
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 2:55pm

Hattie I am also glad that you posted here.