Hello to all : ) It's been WAY TOO LONG!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Hello to all : ) It's been WAY TOO LONG!
1
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 9:39pm
Hello everyone,

my apologies for not having posted on this wonderful & supportive board for so long (I think like 6 weeks). I abandoned you guys, I feel so bad, but I was going thru an extremely hard time, I had a mental & physical melt down...my body ached everywhere, I was so depressed and anxious I felt like I was in another world, I even gave myself an awful gash on my arm, something I had never done before. Well, I am doing MUCH BETTER now, I am happy to report : ) I am now in an IOP (Intensive Out Patient) treatment center for my ED (bulimia). And I am not working anymore (sooo great, my job was toxic to me!!!!! Good ridance!!!). So I am on Disability, just focusing now on healing myself. While I have suffered from an ED for about 3 yrs., this is my first treatment experience, and I also have group therapy weekly, which is SO AWESOME I thought I ws crazy..LOL, it was just so touching to meet other girls with ED's, it helped (as does this borad) me realize that I'm not alone, that there is hope, that things do get better....and that (contrary to my previous belief!!!), recovery is NOT about the doctors trying to "fatten me up for the slaughter!!!!" LOL : ) Anyway I have not cut myself since, I got on a higher dose of medication for my dep/anx, and I am bingeing/purging less (but still not gone.....had a HORRIBLE day yesterday.....threw up 4 times, didn't work out, then drank 4 drinks to 'self-medicate'...oh well, that was yesterday and I forgave myself and today has been a MUCH better day!!!! : ) OK, I will stop rambling on LOL!!! I hope that all is well with everyone, and I hope that one day we will all be free from ED's!!!!!

Love & Hugs,

~Janine~

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 2:27am
Girl, you are doing great. I can see your positive thinking coming thru. KEEP fighting the will to harm yourself and know that people DO care about you. Not about what size you are, not about what you do or don't eat but for who you are JANINE. Listen, recovery is NEVER easy but I know that in the past 7 or more years, I have weighed nearly EVERYDAY and now, I am cutting back and its not bothering me as much as I thought it would. YOU CAN DO IT.......Please keep in touch and let me know how you are. Takecare

Ally xxx