new chick... having some issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
new chick... having some issues
3
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 4:28am
hey all,

so heres my story. always thought i was too fat but never let it bring me down, really. then i started taking the pill, and within a month of taking it, and practically overnight, my boobs grew a cup size. theyre now 36 D and i weigh 130 or so pounds.

at first it was pretty cool, i had liked them before but now they were super large and i felt a boost of confidence. now, when i look in the mirror, theyre all i see. i cant move without them moving, unless i wear 2 sports bras and a regular bra. i feel like the rest of me is as big as they are. its brought my confidence level down to almost nil, and as a result, ive been starving myself off and on for the past month or two.

i had not connected the boob size to my lack of confidence/desire to lose a ton of weight, until tonight. the thought upsets me and makes me feel stupid, because a lot of women would like to have bigger breasts, and i should be thankful that they are the size they are and are not really causing me a lot of pain.

but they are changing the way i see myself. i used to look at myself and see spots that needed work, like thighs, stomach, arms. now i look at myself and i see wideness, and massive breasts that almost seem ridiculous.

i dont know what to do about it. im starting another downhill pattern of starving myself/throwing up... its been a few weeks since i last did it, but when i did i lost so much weight so quickly that i scared myself. i look at pictures of my skinniness and still only see big boobs.

i dont want to live like this anymore. can someone please help
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:28pm

Hi Natalie,


I am glad you found us and I am sorry you are struggling. The good thing is that you realize there is a problem and you WANT to change. Sometimes that can be the hardest step.


The best thing I can recommend is to find a good therapist. Your focus on your body is not really about your body (if that makes any sense). People with EDs or other addictions just use a substance or their body so they don't have to deal with life. Going to therapy and talking about your feelings will help you to process them in a positive way without abusing food or your body.


You can also check out the following websites:


www.somethingfishy.org


www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org


www.overeatersanonymous.org


www.celebraterecovery.com (go to global locaions on the left and find your state/city)


I hope this helps.

Love & hugs, Kristina


Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 3:39pm
I know the pill can make a woman gain weight.

There are many options out there. .....try some other type of pill.

Ask your doctor what she recomends .........

Don't let your ED get worse......get help now!!!

Wish you all the best.

-MJL
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2005
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 6:52am

Hi Natalie,

I can really relate to your problem. I matured physically very young. I have a DD bra and at my thinnest they were still a full C. They never go away, there always there just sticking out rudely. They make me feel fat too. I look at myself and I feel like if they weren't there I would look a ton thinner. You're right when you say that people don't undersatnd it. If you're like me you've probably stood in the mirror and held them flat so that you could see how you would look without them.

I feel like we need to work on our self esteem and get at the root of the problem we have with our female form. I know the reasons I feel that way about them. I was constantly teased by boys at school about them and they would snap my bra strap >ouch!< I felt like they were a constant source of unwanted attention from older guys, yuck! Boy, you should have seen the married men at church stare! Oh, and how embarrassed was I when the pastor's wife brought them up and told me not to hug anyone anymore! (((Blush))) So, believe me, I understand how you feel. But remember that it is not our problem when people act that way and we need to learn to love ourselves, boobs included. We don't want to end up like Wacko Jacko do we? Hell no! lol! So if you ever need to talk about anything, I will be here for you.

Love, Sheri