Checking In

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Checking In
1
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 2:22pm
Just been awhile since I posted and wanted to report that I made it though my first Thanksgiving purge free!! That was such a milestone for me, especially considering how stressed I was and the fact that my mother was with us and has such a serious ED herself. To be honest I didn't even feel the urge (which has diminished considerably for me). Next Holiday please...

It has now been over two months since I purged (almost three) and I feel great. I was worried that my anorexia and just replace my bulimia, but it hasn't. For the first few weeks I was eating pretty sparsely, but not counting calories. I'll have mornings when I'll put something on that FITS, but doesn't hang like it used to and I'll say "that's it, I'm not eating today", but I know that I have to for my health, and actually find myself hungry. I know that I have put on some weight (i DO NOT weigh myself, it's too much of a trigger), but for the most part all of my clothes still fit. I did give away some jeans that were size 0 or 2, of course I wasn't going to still fit into those, they were tiny!!! And I know now that my size does not dictate my worth, it's just a number. I work out for 45 mins. to an hour at least 5-6 days a week (I give myself at least one day off, as the body needs rest) and it is a great stress reliever and keeps my mind and body in shape. All in all I am learning to find peace with myself and God and taking each day at a time. I would never be so presumptuous as to say that I have won the war, but I am winning battles every day

Four months ago I was adrift in this disease, and I never thought that I could pull out of the cycle of binging and purging. The programming in my mind was so strong and went back so many years...if I can do it, anyone can. Don't ever lose hope or forget that we are all special and unique. I heard someone say sometime, somewhere "God don't make crap!" For years I thought I was the exception to that rule, and now I'm realizing how true it is!

Best wishes to all-

Jennifer

http://mattsmommy.blogspot.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: au1222
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:11pm

Hi Jennifer,


I am SO glad you made it through the holidays purge free - way to go! And thank you for posting your progress and how you are doing. It's always nice and encouraging to here positive recovery stories. All of us here need that.


Please keep us posted.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina