Just be YOU...it's OK : )

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Just be YOU...it's OK : )
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 4:26am
Hi there,

good evening : )

I just wanted to share a little insight I am learning in my recovery, helping me on the road to happiness and self-love, there by enabling me to live a productive, fulfilling life. Sometimes ED sufferers have a problem connecting with feelings and urges. We can't tell when we're hungry or full, we can't tell if we're sad, mad, scared, or glad. I just wanted to let you know that a lot of people develop ED's in response to their 'true selves' being stifled, either by parents proding and pushing, or by us making ourselves always have to live up to our own perfect ideal because that gets us the most positive attention. And in that relentless quest for perfection, we go astray from what our souls know and feel is right, we go against the grain and why? WHY WHY WHY??? For others approval, attention, praise...to be loved MORE. Well, I'm here to say that we need to start living for ourselves. To know that the only standard we must live up to is our own. To define ourselves, and never be defined by others. To realize we are ENOUGH. So your Mom wants you to get married and have 10 kids...and you want to be a career-oriented shrew. So you think it is OK to sleep with a guy on the first date and your best friend thinks it makes you a slut. You get my point. To each his own baby. There are 6 billion different opinions out there in the wide wonderful world and they all define 'PERFECT' as something different. So start living for yourself, have boundaries, OWN your life, own your future. Know that you DO NOT IN ANY WAY have to be the perfect little girl, the perfect little angel, everything to everyone. All you have to be is you. And being you is EASY, it's simple. When you are YOU, just plain old regular (and spectacular and beautiful) YOU, you will flow with life, you will glow with happiness, there won't be any inner turmoil or battles. You'll stop fighting with yourself and start being yourself. You soul knows better than any parent or friend what will fulfill you, so TRUST that : ) This is just an idea and me sharing an insight I've learned. I know alot of my false beliefs really blocked me from being happy, I kinda put myself in a self-imposed prison, and along my road to recovery, as I learn and get better, I grow and evolve and bars start breaking off the prison...until one day it is gine and I am FREE...free to live and to love fully and without guilt : ) Let go of the shame, let go of the guilt, it is all self-imposed. So sometimes you want to bitch and moan and be in a crabby mood??? Freakin' FINE. Who said you have to be Little Miss Congeniality 24/7? Your Mom? Well, she needs to wake up and take a reality pill, cuz NO ONE is perfect, everyone has a dark side, every one has a shadow, that's what makes us human, that's the salt and pepper of life. Remember ladies all you have to do is LOVE yourself, flaws and all, and the rest will fall into place.

Cheers and I hope this little sprig of insight might just make a difference to someone out there in need of help (who out there ISN'T in need of a little help? LOL!!!)

~Janine~ :o)