i need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
i need support
1
Mon, 12-15-2003 - 4:32pm
Hi,

I am 23 and from NY. This is the first time that I've been on ivillage. I have been bulimic since I was about 16. In high school, I weighed about 250lbs, and when I finally decided to do something about it, I did it drastically. I lost 100lbs in a very short period of time. Because I was so overweight, no one suspected that I had an eating disorder. I kept all the weight off until a few years ago, when I got married and then got pregnant a few months later. While pregnant, I got up to 270. So far, I've lost 70lbs, and now am really struggling to lose the rest of it. Again, since I am already on the heavier side (I am 5'9", so I am able to carry weight well) no one suspects that I might be bulimic. I am really having a hard time right now. I feel like I just have no control over myself. Food goes into my mouth without me even thinking about it, and then it is just so easy to purge. I hate it. It causes me to lie, and I am so worried that my daughter is someday going to figure out what I am doing to myself. I feel like I just have constant chatter in my head, going back and forth between binging and purging, and trying to be healthy. I hate feeling like this. I can't tell anyone about it...I've tried to tell my husband, but he just doesn't know how to deal with it. I just feel alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-15-2003 - 5:03pm

Hi Paige,


I am glad you decided to post here. Dealing with an ED is very hard and painful and unless people have one themselves, they simply don't understand us.


My suggestion is to find a good therapist that you feel comfortable talking to. You shouldn't go through this alone and while the support of friends, family, and boards such as this one are great, it would be best if you had someone who is trained to help you as well.


Something else you could do is check out group meetings like Overeaters Anonymous (www.overeatersanonymous.org)

Love & hugs, Kristina