Issues with sexuality

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Issues with sexuality
1
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 12:19am
I am a recovering anorexic and always will be, just like alcoholics need to realize that they are always in recovery. My weight is normal now, but mentally i still struggle with the same issues that led to the disease in the first place. I first became anorexic 24 years ago, if that tells you anything. Anyway, i wondered if any of you struggled with issues of feminity and sexuality and what you did about it. I always felt like other women were better than me and that i didn't know "how to be a woman" if that makes any sense. I have always attracted men that reinforced that. Consequently, I am 36, divorced and childless. I still have hope of having the child. i haven't given up on a miracle, but know I need to get it together to meet the man to have the child.

Many of my counslers have suggested that I was sexually abused, one suggested my father did it. If it happened, I truly don't remember it. All I remember of my childhood was having major self acceptance issues with my mother. I have attracted and dated and even married men who sexaully abused me. Where would that have come from? Do any of you have thoughts or personal experiences with how your anorexia is connected to your sexuality? Also, what can I do now to MOVE ON. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 10:11pm

Hi Laticiya,


I think on some level I still compare myself to other women but not so much sexually anymore. That hasn't been a big issue for me but I can see where sexual abuse could have to do with it. But in general women with EDs don't have much self worth or self confidence and maybe with you it spills over to your sexuality. It's not really all that unusual.


What will help is to be more comfortable with who you are inside. I think that's what the whole body image issue is truly about. We can't deal with who we are or with the circumstances in our life, so we turn to food or our bodies instead. The more you uncover those issues and deal with them, the less the body and sexuality stuff will be an issue. That's what's happening for me anyways. I am learning to love and appreciate myself for who I am, and am now married to a man who loves me for who I am, so the body stuff isn't as

Love & hugs, Kristina