Going CRAZY!
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Going CRAZY!
| Sun, 01-04-2004 - 2:24am |
I haven't b/p in a week...and instead of being proud..I'm feeling edgy, anxious, bitter. How crazy is that? I'm sorry to say.. the only reason I haven't b/p is not because of my own free will and self-control, but becuase my bf has been home from work for vacation. I feel like a drug addict on withdrawal. And, to make matters worse, I think I've been compulsively eating the whole week. It's like whenever my bf is sleeping or in the shower, I would hurry and stuff my face. I feel so fat and disgusting!
Just wanted to vent... >8-O

I know how hard that must be because I've been in similiar situations. And I hope this doesn't hurt you, but it IS like being a drug addict on withdrawal. EDs are addictions just like drugs, alcoholism, etc. it's just that our choice of drug is food, the lack thereof, or our bodies. While this doesn't feel good, can you take advantage of the fact that you haven't purged and write down your feelings. Is anything coming up for you that you haven't dealt with and don't want to deal with - that's probbly why you are eating and overeating when your BF doesn't see it.
EDs are all about covering up reality whether that's something that's going on in the present, some event from the past, or something we are afraid of in the future.
Can you share a little more about yourself? How long have you been struggling? Are you in counseling or any kind of group therapy? If this feels too uncomfortable to talk about that's ok. And if you have shared this here before in the past, I apologize.
Please check back in and let us know how you are holding up.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Finding a good therapist AND one you click with is hard. Sometimes we have to go through several before we find the one we can work with. And I wouldn't jump to antidepressants right away. If you work with a therapist for a while and after really getting to know you he/she feels you should be on antidepressants, then you can still decide if that's right for you or not.
If you can, try to make another attempt of finding someone. One of the women here had some frustration with that as well, but she kept trying and now she is with a therapist she really, really likes. It makes such a difference in your recovery.
Whether you do or not, I would also keep coming her to post messages. It helps to get stuff out and talk about it to people who can relate to what you are going through.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina