Amazing...
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Amazing...
| Mon, 01-05-2004 - 2:40pm |
I have always been such a negative "woe is me" person, which has stemmed from my low self esteem. It was rare for me to look on the bright side of anything. Over the last few weeks I have been dealing with a breast cancer scare...I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have received only good news thus far. While I have had my moments of dejection, I have had more than one moment of clarity and hope. Last night I was talking with my DH, and it occurred to me that this ordeal has had a positive effect on my attitude about life and my body. First, I have realized how much I want to live, and how my bulimia was slowly killing me. Second, I have learned a valuable lesson about going to the Doctor when I first have a concern, and not to put it off. I know that when I was in the throws of my ED I did not want to go to any medical professional lest they call me out. Third, I have realized how inconsequential a perfect body/pant size/weight is when you are faced with the possibility of a serious illness. If I were to go tomorrow, would I want to waste my last hours obsessing about those things? Not at all. Finally, I have realized how important it is for me to take care of my body. Twenty-seven year olds don't usually worry aboout breast cancer, heart disease, stroke, etc., but what we do now greatly affects our future health. My mother has had an ED for over 20 years and she looks 20 years older than she really is...that's only on the outside. I wonder what kind of shape her organs might be in. I know what it has done to her mind.
I just wanted to share my experience with you all. I never would have thought my attitude to be so good considering how scared I have been. Just another wonderful aspect of recovery!
Jennifer

http://mattsmommy.blogspot.com/
Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for posting this and I am so glad that you are getting something positive out of this. God uses every situation for something positive.
I am still praying for you. How is the rash doing now?
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The rash is not really getting any better (in fact it may be worse), and I am still very scared. There is an extremely rare, but aggressive form of breast cancer that may not show on a mammogram, so I could still be in the woods.
I am trying to keep my chin up and keep reflecting on the positives in my life, but it's hard when you are so worried. I'm tired of worrying, but it's hard not to. I know that God does not give us more than He knows we can handle, but it sure feels like a lot.
Thank you for your prayers--I really need them right now!
Love,
Jennifer