From the darkness into the light....
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| Thu, 02-12-2004 - 11:10am |
Hugs to you
Lisa aka Ally xxx
"From the darkness into the light"
As I looked out of my window, the sky was darkening and the rain was beating onto my window. The weather seemed to sympathise with my current mood. The rain was lashing and the temperature had dropped. My mind felt empty just as if, like it the sky, it was drained of all the rain it had. My eyes felt dry and I couldn't cry much more. Where did all those tears come from? Do they never dry up?
Darkness for me was good. I could conceal my mood as if the sky was trying to conceal the stars as it got darker and darker but they never disappear which made me wonder.........will my MOOD....ever be blotted out?
I gased out thru the reflecting glass to view the beauty of the world. It was slowly disappearing with the sky becoming dim but yet I just gradually entered into a world of the best daydream ever. Suddenly, the darkness was gone and my feelings were free. The beauty of the world was soooo evident and I was able to examine the real meaning of life. Those stars no longer needed to be covered up, I was free to open my mind into a different way of thinking. I just wandered from street to street holding my head high. I was happy to be able to roam and not have the thoughts I once had but to view the way of life I was really meant to lead. Everyone I passed was so clean and fresh. The smiles on their faces were so wide that the joy in their lives was sooooo clear. Is that the way it would be to be free. Fresh, free and smiling. For now, I was living my ideal dream. The extremity of going from darkness to light seemed such a shock but a pleasant one. I wanted to live like this all the time. I felt like I was walking on fluffy white clouds with such a peaceful surrounding. As I stumbbled over a little peeble, I maintained the strength to pick myself up. I didn't want to wake from my dream. I enjoyed the freedom of those thoughts and the ability to be happy. Suddenly I came across a lady. She was soo pretty and was wearing a white dress. Her skin looked as soft as silk and her hair was very shiny. She looked me in the eye and said, my friend, you are too much in the world. Do you not prefer the lightness and the freedom from the darkness? Who was this lady? Did she just spot me and know I was in a current dream? Did she know I was in a battle?
She stroked my skin and told me I was precious. Precious did she say? Me? I was beginning to like this dream more and more. As her eyes fixed onto my face, she told me to look to God at all times. Love the Lord God with all my heart, all my mind and all my soul. I took her hand and felt like I had known her for years. I was being told I was special and I meant something. I asked her who she was but she didn't reply. I asked again,she said, my dear Lisa (how did she know my name???) I am your sister in Christ. Aye! I thought to myself.........my sister in Christ. How could she be my sister......I don't have any sisters. How did she feel she had to help me? She told me she had been sent by God to help me. Help me, why? Was it due to the fact everyone was praying for a Christian influence in my life? She was a messenger sent by God. She didn't say anything else but just looked at me and smiled. That smile spoke a thousand words. She hugged me and I felt so warm. I felt loved and didn't want to let go. Slowly, her white dress got greyer and greyer......I fought the temptation to return to the darkness but I was stumbling and as I felt her let me go. I was awakening. I twitched and gradually arose from my dream.
Awake I now was, the sky was dark but my insides felt light. I felt like I had been washed clean. I kept focussing on the ways in which God works. It wasn't always clear. He had put things in my way but I often probably ignored them. How could I ignore the lady in the white dress. She was my angel who lightened my heart and gave me hope. Everyday is a battle to avoid the darkness. I have travelled thru the shades of life ranging from black to grey and now, by God's grace I am in his eyes as pure as Gold............
It takes effort to feel free.......sometimes tooo much to bare but I know whatever happens.............whether I am fat or thin...........what can I do. If I was designed to be stick thin I would be. I pray I can learn to eat right and destroy the satanic thought I am having right now.
Please keep me in your thoughts and if you ever dream and someone reaches out to you, grab it. They were put there for a reason.
I love you guys
Lisa xxxx

Thank you for sharing this, Ally.
BTW, have you heard back from you CL app? I would love for you to be here as a CL.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Yes I did apply and didn't get accepted for some reason so I applied again..maybe you can put a word in for me and see why the second application is taking sooo long
Luv Lisaxxx
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina