almost 4 days...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
almost 4 days...
4
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 2:30pm
almost 4 full days with no binging but the fear is so back and strong. i feel like such a baby but I am so stuck. I already put on 5 lbs which everyone keeps saying is water weight and I don't want to binge but I am feeling frantic. I guess I just need some support that the weight will stop and that everything can/will be okay. anyone out there? thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 4:15pm

Big hugs Amy, I know how hard this is. Hang on and keep fighting because it CAN get better and I agree that the weight is water weight. It is impossible for you to gain that much 'real' weight in such a short time. I have gained 9 lbs in the last week and I don't like it but I keep telling myself it's just water weight (PMS). Your body is adjusting to the new behaviour and just needs some time.


Is there anybody you can talk to and maybe spend time with? Do you have hobbies to keep you occupied? Also, journaling helps me a great deal.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 5:21pm
Amy,

When I first entered recovery I counted the days...each one was a reminder that I was one step further from where I was with my ED. I think it is wonderful to take it one day at a time, and eventually, the days fade into months, etc. I have now been binge/purge free for over five months and I can remember when I was at five days.

As far as the weight, it's water. But be warned that our EDs mess us our metabolism and that our bodies tend to want to hold on to these calories that we used to deny them. I stopped weighing myself a long time ago, and that has been a great relief. I don't even look at the Dr.'s office. It's just a stupid number. If it makes you feel better, I am still in most of my pre-recovery clothes and I am now 10 weeks pregnant. Yes, I noticed a weight gain early on, but it leveled off. I do try to incorporate a healthy amount of exercise into my schedule, and I think that helps me maintain my shape--and I say shape instead of "weight" because shape is what is visible, not the two pounds I might have put on due to PMS or whatever.

I pray that you continue on this track...every binge-free day is a great one!

Love,

Jennifer

http://mattsmommy.blogspot.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 6:47pm
Thank you so much for all of your support and hopefully writing and counting days with support will help. I am not ready to get rid of the scale even though everyone says it would be the best thing I am only ready to give up the purging and try to live more normally. I have been walking and journaling and everything else to get to this point!! I used to binge countless times/day and now only 1-2/week. I also started prozac and a new job and am getting married so hopefully it will all come together. thanks for listening again and I will keep posting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 7:59pm
Amy - My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have gone through what you're going through and I know the pain. It's all you can think about... all I can suggest is what helped(s) me... I imagine it's like an alcoholic has to stay away from friends who drink or stay away from bars... I had to (have to) stay away from places where I know I'll binge (like the movies where I know I'd get a big popcorn and candy)... I can't allow myself "one bite" of a "bad" food because knowing myself that one bite will turn into ten or twenty...I don't have junk food or bad foods in my house - I have to not have it around me. See if that helps while you get it under control. Remember it WILL get easier and easier! Don't be terrified if you gain a couple of pounds - you're metabolism will slowly get better and you'll soon be able to enjoy food without the guilt. Stay strong!!

k