I did a bad thing (trigg)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
I did a bad thing (trigg)
2
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 2:02pm
The other day I b/p'd for the first time in over a year. I went to an all you can eat buffet and I was so full that I headed for the bathroom and well you know what happened then. I am so mad at myself and so embarrassed. I really don't think this is going to be a problem or an ongoing thing but now I know what I am still capable of. Geez I am so hard on myself. I have only been out of the hospital for almost 3 weeks and I've already screwed up. Well I just wanted to get that off my chest. Nobody knows what I did but I plan to tell my therapist today. Just so she is aware and can question me in the future. I will not begin a new therapy relationship on secrets and lies. It is so important to be honest, right? I mean she can't send me to the hospital for 1 little relapse. Geez this is harder than I thought it was going to be. I am way overweight since I have gotten "healthy" with my ed and I SOOOOO want to lose all this extra weight I've put on. I mean it isn't just a little extra weight but a lot. Can anyone offer any advice? I won't be able to check until Thur but if anyone can help I would be truly grateful.

Love and Hugs from an embarrassed,

Darlene

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 8:52pm
I think that you are being way to hard on yourself, I'm not saying that it couldn't lead to the problems that you have been suffering from but I think since it happened you need to be honest admit that it happened and stop being so hard on yourself. Good job on getting that help and working so hard to be bingefree!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 7:02am

Hi Darlene,


I am so glad that you decided to be honest here and also with your therapist. Yes, it is very important to do so and shows that you really want to recover. And you ARE being hard on yourself but I was the same way when I started recovering. One, I still messed up at times, and two, it was hard to forgive myself. But you need to try and focus on the positive (you are being honest, you WANT to stop) and look at the future (what can you learn from this, what can you do different next time). Don't dwell on the past - it's gone.


You are a very strong woman and I know you will be able to recover. Just keep working on it and try not to get discouraged when things don't go exactly the way you expect them to. We all stumble, the key is to get back up and keep moving forward.

Love & hugs, Kristina