New to the board...same old story...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
New to the board...same old story...
2
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 5:32pm
Thought I would post my story....maybe someone can relate....

About 1 yr ago I decided I wanted to lose a few pounds. I was 120 at the time and that was the most I had ever weighed. Normally I would be 110-115 and eat whatever I want.

So, I started a simple exercise program and started watching what I ate. I kept a food log and learned about calories. The weight started to drop off. First it was I just want to be 115lbs then 110 then 105. When I finally got to 105 it was...ok how do I stay 105. I became obsessed with working out. I would work out 3-4 hrs a day sometimes.

Then, I hurt my back and couldn't work out anymore. So then the question became, ok, how do I keep from gaining the weight and that is when the purging started in October and now lately it has been binging and purging. Not alot though. I have a salad for lunch and an apple for an afternoon snack and then I eat a regular person dinner and then purge it and eat some dessert and purge it. The max of calories I actually eat in a day is probably 2500 but I be sure to purge so that I don't keep in but 1200.

I love food...I cannot control myself. If something is put in front of my, I am going to eat it and then I feel guilty and purge. My husband has no idea and I am not going to tell him.

I developed this probem and I can fix it somehow. What is the worse that could happen? I would gain weight right...yeah, but that's the problem.

Anyway, just wanted to put my story out there....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 6:37pm

Hi,


Welcome to the board and thank you for sharing your story. I can definitely relate to what you are going through. To answer your question though, the worse that can happen with and ED is death. I am not saying this to be harsh, but that is reality. If nothing is done it will only get worse and you could possibly die.


Have you considered going to therapy or some group meetings? You need support. If you don't want to tell your husband right now that's ok, but you shouldn't go through this by yourself or just an online board.


Let me know what you think.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 11:26am

I can definately relate to so many of the things you said. It's so scary to think of gaining weight and getting "fat" or in my case "fatter". It sickens me that our brains have become so distored to think this way. Yet, there seems to be no other way of thinking. It's a vicious cycle, but you've come to a very safe place for support. Have you thought about getting therapy or joining a 12 step program?


Rayah