What should I do?

Avatar for sarah6480
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
What should I do?
1
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 6:17pm
Hi everyone. I've been here before just briefly and you all gave me some very good advice. So,I'm back. This is my problem.

I have bulimia/anorexia and have had these disorders for 3 and a half years. I'm 17 and a Senior in high school. I "recovered" two years ago and for a while my parents forgot about it. I've always been against being recovered and I can't let go of this. Recently, my parents, while snooping around in my room, found something I wrote which def. incriminated me. They had been suspecting a problem for a while but only said little things here and there which were derogatory. I profusely denied everything. Not only did they rant and rave about how unbelievable the diary entry was but they showed my younger brother. He was the one who came up to me and told me that they knew. My parents act as if this eating disorder is something I am using against them. They act like I should be guilty and horribly sorry for it. I don't know how to feel.



They haven't confronted me yet but I'm sure it's coming. I'm scared. I honestly feel horrible but it's making it worse. I would rather die before admitting it. I don't feel comfortable talking to them because I know they are going to be so mad at me. What should I do??! Thanks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 6:18am

Hi Sarah,


I am not sure what exactly you mean about what you should do. If you are referring to your parents, I would be as honest with them as you CAN be. While you may think you are against recovering, that's all just part of ED. It's more comfortable to continue our old habits and use them to escape life, than to face life head on. While I don't agree with parents looking through their children's personal items, if I had a daughter and suspected she was suffering from an ED I can't say that I wouldn't do the same. It's hard to say if you haven't been in that situation. But you also have a right to be angry and need to tell them this as well - in a loving way. You can tell people you are angry with them without sounding accusing or hurtful. The thing I don't agree with is your parents showing things to your little brother. I personally feel that's inappropriate.


If your question pertains to what you should do about your ED, I think you need to be in therapy, if you are not already. You said you 'recovered' two years ago. What exactly did that look like and how did you do it? Either way, you still have emotional issues you are not willing to deal with and that's why you keep turning to ED. A professional counselor can help you work through those things and help you through your recovery. Believe me, there was a time when I THOUGHT I didn't want to be recovered. Now that I am on the other end, and I am not even fully there yet, I realize how much better my life is without ED. Keep in mind that going to a therapist does not mean you immediately have to give up ED behaviors, stop purging, or will be force fed. A therapist can't MAKE you do anything, but you can start working on emotional issues and then recovery will happen on its own very slowly and gradually.


You can also check out group meetings for extra support like www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org, www.overeatersanonymous.org, and www.celebraterecovery.com (go to Global Locations on the left). The latter has had great success in helping people with EDs.


Please check in and let us know how things went with your parents or if you need support. We are always here for you.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina