newbie... please reply

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
newbie... please reply
4
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:08pm
Hi everyone! I JUST found this board and was soooo delighted, because I posted a question in the diet and fitness board about my ED, and noone has replied for three days now, (most likely because they are not familiar with EDs.) Anyways, yes, as you can tell, I have an eating disorder- began as severe anorexic 2 years ago, have been in 3 treatment centers, several hospitalizations, and now am secretly struggling with bulimia. This was my post:

Please help me. I joined ivillage just to be able to post my question, because I have no idea where to turn. I am a bulimic, and although I have been in 3 treatment programs, I am unable to fully kick my disease. I learned in one place I was in that every time you purge, your metabolism goes down 13%. But then wouldn't it get to 0% eventually- that isn't possible, is it? I am not overweight, but a pudgy normal, and I feel so much bodily shame and hatred. Anytime I try not to throw up a meal (not always a binge mind you), I gain weight. And I gain much more and muuuuuch faster than the average person- simple caloric math does NOT add up in my body. I need to know how soon my metabolism will rebound if I stop purging, and if my weight will level out to a place where I can be normal/thin, not bloated and uncomfortable. Any advice you can give me about bulimia, metabolism, etc. would be soooooooooooooooooooo greatly appreciated. Also, how am I maintaining/slightly fluctuating when I am not keeping harldy ANY food down? Is my metabolism THAT slow? I don't want to live on carrots just to maintain!!!!

If ANYONE has ANYTHING that may help me, please share it! Thanks soooo much!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:44pm
Hi,

I am not an expert on metabolic issues, but my nutritionist told me it could take SIX MONTHS of "normal" eating patterns to get your metabolism on track. I can definitely relate to your issues; I feel like if I overeat once, my weight shoots up. It could be a few things: your metabolism could be out of whack as a result of your years of disordered eating... it could also be that since you are struggling with ED, you are much more body-conscious.

Stay Strong!

Hope that helps some,

Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:31pm
Thank you very very much for replying!

WOW, SIX MONTHS???? That is a big surprise! I suppose that's why it's best to recover SOONER, not later, so that you will not keep re-starting the 6 months over (did that make any sense?? haha).

Thanks again! Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:55pm

Hi Starry - I am glad you found us and I am sorry nobody replied to you on the other board. Sometimes it takes a while for people to get a chance to check in and look for new posts.


The metabolism issue is a difficult one because everybody is so different. It really depends on whether you had a fast or slow metabolism before the ED started, how long you have been active, and much more. I also wonder how you determine that you are gaining weight (sorry if that seems like stupid question). Do you weigh yourself the day after you did not purge or right after the meal that you did not purge and if your weight is up you assume you have gained weight? Again sorry if this seems like an odd question but everybody has a different view on what weight gain actually is. My guess is that your body is retaining water after you don't purge because it is not used to you eating and keeping it down. And that WILL take a while to go away but I would assume only a few days.


What I would try to focus on, if you can, is what is going on with you emotionally. What is driving you to throw up? Have there been any stressful changes in your life in the past 2 years (when your ED started), are there any childhood issues you have not dealt with, is there anything stressful or anxiety causing in your life right now, etc.


Are you still in therapy or did therapy stop after you were released from your treatment? On-going therapy would be really, really good and if you are not seeing a therapist, I want to encourage you to try and find one. You may also want to check out some group meetings like like www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org, www.overeatersanonymous.org, and www.celebraterecovery.com (go to Global Locations on the left). The latter has had great success in helping people with EDs.


Let me know what you think.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 1:57pm
Thanks a lot, Kristina. I really appreciate everything you said, it's a comfort to have someone understand. Actually, my mom is looking for another therapist right now, because of a bad cutting episode I had this week. So hopefully it will help, i just feel apprehensive bc i have had A LOT of therapists during my life- several when my parents divorced, several for depression before my ED, several for my ED, and then the ones in treatment. So I feel sort of fed up. But I'll never stop trying. Thanks again.