addicted to bullimia..why?
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| Tue, 05-04-2004 - 1:40am |
I realy don't know what my problem is or why I have it..
I basicaly have bulimia, but I don't know why anymore. I'm not overweight, i'm 5'11, and 155lbs. I have a great body, and yet I still can't stop throwing up... It all started when I was 16, when i was stll overwieght.. Back then I'd binge and purge.. I didn't loose the wieght until I was 18, when I lost around 50 pounds in a very short period of time, thanks just starving myself for a period of about 6 months,,
Anyway, my weight problem is in the past. And so is my binge eating.. But I still can't help throwing up.. Even if I eat something perfectly healthy, sometimes afterwards i'll start to panic, and believe that i'm going to start getting fat again if I keep that meal down... It doesn't make any sense, I don't know what's the matter with me..
I'm also going through some severe depression right now.. I was on prozac for three months, but it did nothing for me.. Maybe the depression is the cause of the ED.. I don't know.
Please, does anyone know what's wrong with me?

Hi Joshua,
Although we tend to think that our EDs are all about how we look or about food, or that they started for that reason, there is typically an underlying emotional reason. This could be some unresolved issue from your childhood, some issue in the recent past, something that's currently going on, or some fear, anxiety or other emotion about some event or issue in the future. Once we start addressing the emotional issues and dealing with them, whether that's through journaling, crying, screaming, talking, etc., the ED symptoms will start to diminish (slowly but surely).
My first recommendation would be to find a good therapist. Someone who specializes in helping people with EDs would be ideal, but simply a trained/schooled counselor would be fine. He/she would be able to help you work through any emotional issues you might be suppressing.
You can also try group meetings such as www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org, www.overeatersanonymous.org (not just for over eaters), and www.celebraterecovery.com (go to Global Locations on left). All of the above are based on the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous and have great success in helping people with Eds.
Do you have any friends or family members that you can confide in? You need support and shouldn't have to go through this by yourself. You may also want to explore if there are any emotional issues you can think of that might have been going on at the time you started purging (aside from being overweight). Or if there is anything from your childhood that may have been troublesome for you. Another great resource is www.somethnigfishy.org. And of course you can post here any time for support.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
i never thought i was that bothered by my appearance, before any of this started and also while i was bulimic; i mean i didnt like to feel like i looked awful, but on the whole i didnt, so i thought i was alright. Then i told my friend...after that it ws a real comfort to have someone to talk to as she also had an ed, but i think that has made me dwell on it more, focus on my appearance more...or maybe its just because i am a 15 yr old girl in an all girls school (very bitchy places, and i dont like to think of what people say about me behind my back-i've never followed the crowd, ive always done what i thought was right ie. stand up for the 'loser' (who just happens to be the person i told about this) or just generally not worship all the supposedly popular girls...one person put it this way "i don't set out to be liked" not by people i dont really know or like, only by my friends...) anyway, now i really do care about how i look, and more often then not i feel like i look bad ie fat in my school uniform. i don't think i care what they say about me, and they probably have other things to talkk about (they all break up with each other every other day) but i have to go out in public in my school uniform sometimes, and i hate it. i ride horses..i have to wear jodphurs which are REALLY tight trousers...my mum asked me to go into a supermarket in them on the way home once; i paniced...people couldnt see me like that!! i flatly refused and she got rather pissed off, but i was so unbelievably relieved..thats when i realised there must be something rong with me...
again im rambling...what im trying to say is, my ed (m now anorexic i think, but i used to be bulimic too) never was originally about how i looked, i dont know what it was about, but i couldnt stop purging...now it is about my appearance, and now im anorexic...you said yours started off because you felt you were over weight, now your not and you cant stop...your me, but back to front, if you see what i mean...
anyway, i think you should talk to a friend who does NOT have an ed...someone to stop you from doing something you dont want to do anyway, someone to help you, encourage you, but most of all stop you...
i hope i may have helped in any small way...sorry if i rambled...sorry i took so long to reply, my comp. was broken...
lauren x x x
good luck, i know you can do it if you really set your mind to it, and get a little help from a friend...
my advice on the paranoia about getting fat is this...dont weigh yourself (if you do) after meals, if you must, do it before...and slowly increase the amount of food you eat, make a little chart, rite down your goals for the week/day, which ever you find works best...if you stick to your plan for, say a week, reward yourself...go out to the cinema or do something you really enjoy doing, if you dont stick to the plan, change the next day's/week's so that its more manageable...take one step at a time,,,its going to be slow, and it probably won't be easy, but be determined...YOU CAN DO IT!!! I HAVE FAITH!!! please e-mail me at any time on smokinqueen@hotmail.com