Reoccuring ED problems at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Reoccuring ED problems at home
7
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:54pm
I had problems with both anorexia and bulimia all throughout high school, but things got a lot better once I went to college. When I come home on breaks and summer vacation, though, things seem to go back to the way they were when I lived at home. Does anyone have any ideas why this could be? Why do I feel better at college but not at home? Please reply on here or e-mail me. Thanks for reading!

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 9:54pm

Hi Stacy,


Your ED could be the result of some issues with your family or in your home town. So when you return, the Ed issues and symptoms flare up. Maybe in college you were so busy and distracted that you didn't need your ED to cope with what ever is going on.


It's really hard to say however and there could be so many different reasons. Have you thought about seeing a therapist and trying to figure out what started your ED to begin with? I think that would be a good place to start.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 11:04pm
Thanks for replying to me! I think that my problems with eating disorders started when I was about 14, and it was mostly due to certain situations with my mother. She insisted that I was overweight and made me diet and exercise. I actually was not, in fact, overweight at all. I was just developing and growing into myself, and now she doesn't seem to have a problem with the way that I look. She denies now that she ever thought I was overweight, but it definitely took its toll on me.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 6:32am

Wow, the teenage years can be so tough already, I am sure that your Mom's comments must have been hard. Especially considering you were not overweight. This makes me wonder if your

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 2:40pm
I don't think much about my old eating problems when I'm at college. I just go to the dining hall and I generally eat fairly healthy foods. I feel compelled to eat more when I'm at home, though, for some reason. I find myself going back to my old habits of either not eating anything or overeating. Fortunately, I haven't made myself throw up in about two years, since I started college.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 11:43am
Stacy, I can remember my mother acting the same way in my teen years. The one thing she said to me when i was younger that really stuck with me..."You can't look fat unless you are fat," which she said when i was complaining that a certain outfit made me look fat. I realize now that you can take that both ways...she could have been saying i was fat, or that i wasn't fat. But it was never clarified and i just took it as a rip, of course!

I also tend to overeat when i go home. This is something i struggle with every time i visit them! One thing I realized (you may have this in common also) is at my home, i control what foods are there and i don't usually buy things that may trigger me to overeat. However, my family's home is stocked to the ceiling with fatty, sugary convenience foods that i'm likely to binge on. and when i'm so busy trying to spend time with each of them, it seems like i just prefer these fast foods to preparing a normal meal as i might when i'm on my own.

also, when i go to visit, my family doesn't exactly have healthy eating habits and i sometimes feel guilty about trying to eat "better" than them...i don't want to make them feel bad. this seems silly because it would be GOOD for them to eat better! but that still may be one of the reasons i eat the way i do around them.

finally, because i expect to overeat when i go home, i tend to restrict my food intake pretty heavily for a few days beforehand in anticipation of bingeing. so by the time i get to my parents' home, i'm starving! put together really really hungry with plenty of junk food and my family's approval of poor eating habits, and it's no wonder i binge!

I haven't managed to avoid overeating when visiting in more than a year. But I'm going for a visit over the Fourth of July weekend coming up, and I'm working on a plan. I'm going to ask them not to do anything special for me as far as food goes (they tend to plan barbecues and fish fries or buy my favorite junk food). Also i'm going to bring my own oranges and apples so that i have quick snacks that aren't junky.

Maybe some of these ideas will help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 4:54pm
Just like you, I had an ED while in HS but it magically disappeared, then came back, when I came home.

Now, 15 years later, I understand the ED was a by product of my unhappy and horrible relationship with my mother. Not to go into details, but she is toxic, and a person who you are better off staying away from. I never dealt with these issues, other than, leaving town, but when i return, guess what else returns? The ED.

I've since learned how to cope by other means, but your story sounded so familiar, I had to respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 12:20am
Thanks so much for all of your wonderful advice!! It was very helpful and I really appreciate your kindness and caring!

Stacy