Boyfriend sometimes triggers my ED
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Boyfriend sometimes triggers my ED
| Wed, 06-09-2004 - 12:18pm |
My boyfriend always thinks that he is fat and he's always on some sort of diet. He's not fat at all - 6'2" and about 155 or 160 lbs. He once weighed about 190, so he's lost a great deal of weight. I think that he looked better at his former weight, but he disagrees. His constant weight watching sometimes triggers my eating disorder and makes me want to lose a bunch of weight, too. He tells me that I'm perfect just the way I am and he knows that I've had problems with anorexia and bulimia in the past. Should I tell him that although I support his desire to be healthy, his behavior sometimes makes me want to resort to disordered eating again?
Stacy

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HI Stacy,
Yes, I think being open and honest in a relationship is very important, especially when it comes to our feelings. Just don't be confrontational about it.
However, you said you 'support his desire to be healthy' and my thought was that he is struggling with his own ED in some way. At his height and weight he must be pretty thin. If the truly thinks he is fat, then his body image of himself is rather distorted. I agree that some counseling might be helpful.
Have you suggested to him at all that he might have a slight form of anorexia? I am not saying you should - it's a delicate issue and only you know when and if the time is right, but if he is willing to talk about it that might be helpful for both of you.
Let us know what you decide and how things go from here on out.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
i totally agree with kristina on this...great minds think alike!! she basically took the words rite out of my mouth(or hands really in this case!!) you should tell him...you cant keep returning to your ed just because of him...and he may have an ed of his own?? basically, my advice is the same as kristina's..
good luck
hope you can sort it all out soon
lauren x x x
Stacy
I have actually suggested to him that he may have a slight form of anorexia, but he denies it. He says, "I'd so be anorexic if I were a girl," but I don't think he believes that guys can have anorexia. I even asked him one time if he ever makes himself throw up. I have no idea how he stays the weight that he is because his body type is meant to be a bit big. He actually looks better at a larger weight. He looks gaunt and sick at the weight that he is now. His skin is loose and you can tell that there's something wrong with him.
Stacy
I agree with you - I think that he has an eating disorder of his own. He denies it, though. He says things like, "I eat!" As if that means he doesn't have any eating disorder. I don't know what to do with him sometimes. I suppose that I could call his mom up, but I don't think she likes me all that much, so maybe that's not the greatest idea.
Stacy
lauren x x x
good luck stacy
I'm worried that his mom won't believe me. She has all these weird ideas about me, but I never did anything to suggest to her that they were true. She thinks that I'm very pretty, and therefore, it's impossible for me to be virtuous. I find that really insulting. She's also accused me of trying to pressure her son into sleeping me, which is not true, and she's also sure that as soon as I meet someone else, I'll dump her son and break his heart. I'm worried that she'll think I am lying to try to get him in trouble or something.
Stacy
Meg
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