Relapse...Possible Triggs!!
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 06-24-2004 - 9:10pm |
There are a lot of new people here so I will give you a brief background. I started purging about 3 years ago following a bad break up with my then boyfriend. I dealt with my depression through purging. I have always handled it poorly when a guy ends a relationship or dating situation with me. I always blame it on not being skinny enough for him and either restricted my eating or purged. I am 5'7 and 135 pounds. I purged for about a year and stopped, for the most part, prior to moving in with my roommate. I controlled it so she wouldn't find out. Since then I have relocated, started a new job, and have been happier. I've had occassions since then where I would purge a meal if I thought I ate to much, but it wasn't on a consistant basis. A couple of months ago it started again. After, of course a break-up. My depression comes and goes. I have days where I am completely happy and days where I am really sad. I have been purging pretty consistently, 4-5 times a week. Not a lot but enough to push me to return and share. I am actually proud to say that I talked myself out of it last night. I guess I felt better about myself because this guy I have been talking to called and it always brings my spirits and self-esteem up.
I'm not really sure why I am here....but I thought I would share with someone just to get it out of my system. I am really starting to scare myself with my depression and purging. I know how dangerous and unhealthy purging can be and it scares the hell out of me but it doesn't make a difference when I am sad and find purging to be the only thing that makes me feel better. I want to stop before it gets out of hand again. I guess I'm looking for support or advice. Anything I can get. Thank you for listening and hopefully I am not rambling too much.
Cindy

Hi Cindy,
Thank you for sharing and introducing yourself. I am glad you found the courage to open up and I hope this will be the start to recovery.
I can't respond the way I want to right now because I have to get ready for work, but I wanted
Love & hugs, Kristina
i know what u mean bout getting depressed after breaking up with a boyfriend...a while ago (im opnly 15 at the mo, so obviously they're not serious serious 'relationships') i broke up with a guy i really liked, called adrian...we had a massive arguement and he sed sum really nasty things to me, about me, my friends, my life in general and sum of the stuff id told him about it...ppl at school kept asking me wot happened, y did we break up, but i still havent told ne1 coz the stuff he sed really hurt...im ova it now, to an extent and i have a new (MUCH nicer) boyfriend, but at the time it felt like the end of the world (i hadnt 'stopped' purging at all, hadnt even slowed it down, but that breakup made me do it a lot more...if i c him when/if i ever get over it all, i will tell him what happened after he sad those things and hope he feels thoroughly ashamed of himself...not that that attitude really helps me, or will help u...the attitude i shood have is 'i wont let the b*****d beat me' etc...i will find a nice guy who wont say those sorts of things, or if ur ex didnt say nething 2 u, u will find a nice guy who will not break ur heart...
o, and seriously...WELL DONE on stopping urself last nite!! congrats from me, and evry1 else im sure...
one other thing...ive heard that purging only actually gets rid of 30% kcals...which is y i no longer consider it an option for me...its a last resort really, and i dont do it nemore im proud 2 say. howeva, it spounds a bit like ur doin it not so much to get rid of the food, but 2 make urself feel better, in which case, remember this; i purged for about 2yrs, a LOT, and evry time i wood h8 it while i was doin it and hope no1 wood realise, though i wanted sum1 to care enuf 2 notice, but not hassle me bout it if u c wot i mean...but feel beta, sooo much beta afterwards...but just think about this, there are plenty more fish in the sea ie gd guys, if 1 guy decides he doesnt want 2 b with u it is becaur#se there is another guy who is meant to be with u, it is not ur fait 2 b with that guy...getting ova him will make u stronger and will get u closer to meeting mr right, the guy of ur dreams (obviously ur the girl of his dreams...ull end up togetha 4eva etc)
hope i helped sumhow...
lauren x x x x x
Meg
i totally dont understand...please explain...
lauren x x x