Not sure if I need help....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Not sure if I need help....
2
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:09pm
I have been online researching eating disorders to try and find where I fit in. I don't feel like I fit neatly into any one category. I don't know where I should go from here. How do you diagnose yourself to see how you should handle treatment?

I read the posts of some of you, and while I empathize, I do not think that the disease has progressed quite that far in me. I binge eat almost everyday, and while I gave up vomiting several years ago, I am always on some sort of pill to try and lose the weight. I was even using cocaine a few years back just for the efect it had on my weight. Most people would not classify me as "overweight". I am by medical standards, but I hide it well due to my height - I am 5'10' an weigh 185 lbs. The main problem I have is obsessing about what I eat, and the guilt after I do. Can anyone tell me if this is how worse problems start, or if anyone else feels the same? I feel a little lost.

Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 3:18pm
Hello Jenn,

I've been starving myself, bingeing, fasting, puking, overexercising, abusing diet pills, etc. off and on in cycles for 16 years, and i've NEVER been underweight. i've also always told myself i'm not as "bad" as anorexics...i don't purge for the same reasons as bulimics...i'm not one of THEM, i don't *really* think i'm ugly or fat or stupid, or whatever. it's still an eating disorder, and even though i tell myself i can (that i don't REALLY have a problem), i haven't been able to do without my ED for a long time.

i read the DSM III, which is the manual published by the American Psychiatric Association for therpists, psychiatrists, etc. to use when diagnosing mental disorders. there are very strict guidelines for diagnoses of anorexia and bulimia. but there is another group called Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, or EDNOS. i think this is what i am, because i've always been one criteria away from fitting into anorexia or bulimia, yet it's clear that i engage in disordered eating and use inappropriate methods when i try to control my weight. there is also compulsive overeating, COE. this is like binge eating. the only way to know for sure is to explain all this stuff about eating to someone who is trained to diagnose eating disorders.

the way you describe your eating patterns, using drugs to lose weight, feeling guilty after you eat, and that it's apparently been this way for at least several years, i think you have an eating disorder. of course it can always get worse, but it doesn't need to for you to realize it's an eating disorder.

there are a ton of websites dedicated to eating disorder recovery. the classic one is http://www.something-fishy.org/

i also find this one really empowering: http://www.bodycage.com/ it's very conversational.

also, try your local library for books about other people who recovered eating disorders. and let me know if i can help you :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 12:41am

Hi Jenn,


It certainly sounds like you are more concerned with food and eating than you should be. We all need food and eating should not cause feelings of guilt. What concerns me more than that is that you used to vomit and you are still on pills in order to lose weight. Eating disorders can creep up on us slowly but are hard to stop one we have them.


If I were you, I would look into some good group meetings like www.overeatersanonymous.org and I would also try to find a therapist. A good counselor, ideally someone who has experience helping people with EDs, can help us figure out why we are really focusing on food and our weight so much. In most cases there are some deeply rooted emotionally issues and unless those are resolved, the eating disorder will continue.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina