developing a different ED (trigs)
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developing a different ED (trigs)
| Mon, 07-05-2004 - 1:11pm |
My ED started in Septemeber '01 when I started to eat healthy my junior year of high school. Eventually I became obsessed with measuring out my food and counting calories. I became anorexic and lost my period. Eventually I got help and recovered during my senior year. At college I was alright, I still counted calories a bit, but I gained a little bit of weight and just got my period back with in the last 6 months. My problem has been since I've been home. I am very unhappy with my body and with my life, and I have been getting depressed. I have been binging a lot, especially on sweets a chocolate. Then I started chewing and spitting foods. I have also made myself throw up a few times. I am so scared because I know that I am out of control, but I am trying to stop myself before it gets too bad. Last night I vowed that today I would fast, but that didnt happen. I ate breakfast, and a big one at that, when I wasnt even hungry. So I tried make myself throw up, but I didnt get much up. I hate this and I hate myself. I just want to cry and crawl in a hole forever.

Hi,
I am sorry things are taking a bad turn. Believe me I know how hard it is when you think you're all 'done' and then it hits you out of the blue.
You said you got help before...what did you do? Did you see a therapist? If so, can you go back to the same one? If not, it sounds like you could benefit from some counseling.
Just don't give up. I can't tell you how many times I thought things would never change, but they CAN. It takes some work and perserverance, but it can be done.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina