Could I be developing an ED?
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| Tue, 07-06-2004 - 3:00pm |
I always felt I had a pretty healthy body image, but always had a nice figure. For 7 years, I was with a guy that always wanted me to be skinnier, and I think in the back of my head, it bothered me. He and I had a son together and I gained 76 pounds. After our son was born, I decided to try very hard to lose the weight. In the interim, this guy and I split up (definately for the best) and I started working out vigorously and eating healthy to lose the weight. When I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, I wanted to push it just a little further, but, did stop when I got to a satisfactory weight.
NOW... I have a new wonderful boyfriend, but I have put on about 5-8 pounds since we started dating (I generally eat one meal a day and he has been cooking, so I have been eating 2 meals a day). I am obsessed with the weight I have gained. I get on the scale 4 or 5 times a day when I am at home, I have been exercising constantly. I even fasted for 2 days to try and lose it (which didn't work). He tells me that I need to eat more food and that he will just make sure it is healthy, but I am freaking out about it. I haven't stopped eating or anything, but my mindset is almost that I am mad at myself for not having the will power to stick to my one-meal-a-day plan.
My friend thought that perhaps I should speak to someone about it, but my position was that I am not losing weight, so there is really no concern. I had that attitude for about 3 weeks, but now I am getting concerned, because of how often my weight is on my mind. I am worried that my boyfriend doesn't think I am attractive because of the weight I have gained and will leave me, but I am also concerned that my obsession with my weight (when he considers me to be fine), could cause him to leave.
So, if anyone has any input I would like to know. I feel like my situation is not very serious, but I am definately concerned with my increasing obsession with my weight.
Thanks.

You said you are only eating 1-2 meals per day. That actually slows your metabolism, rather than speeds it. Eating regularly, and consistently, only when you are hungry is the way to go. That's why they say three meals a day. And especially breakfast. That gets your body adjusted to food and metabolizing (if that is a real word).
You mentioned weighing yourself frequently. What you didn't say was if you were overweight. Your doctor's office should have a chart of what is a healthy weight for certain height and age.
As for the guy...Do you feel like you can trust him? If he's honest with you on everything else, chances are good that he's honest about how you look to him. Listen to what the people who love you are saying. From someone who's been there and done that, that's the best advice I can give.
Good luck.
N
But how do I override the nagging voice in my head that tells me I am getting heavy and am unattractive, even though my family and bf think I am beautiful and thin?
As for your ex...it's amazing how just one person's viewpoint can alter how we look at ourselves. Did you ever have feelings like that before your ex started to tell you you were overweight? My guess is you didn't, or it was VERY occasional (like after a big holiday meal). To deal with the voice in your head, maybe you can just start to associate it with your ex. It is his negative words coming back to haunt you. Say to that voice "You are no longer a part of my life. I do not have to listen to you. You messed with me once, but I won't let you do it again. I know I am better than you. I can beat you and prove you wrong." It won't be easy, but it's worth a try. And keep listening to the good messages around you!
N