No body obsession - I just cannot eat.
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| Fri, 07-09-2004 - 9:57am |
This is my first post here, and I'm just trying to get some answers. Maybe one of you kind people could point me in the right direction?
First of all, I eat very little to begin with...probably around 1200 calories a day, and I get regular exercise. So for the most part I am healthy, and my weight hovers aroun 170 (I'm 5'9").
A year ago, after a particularly horrible breakup, I stopped eating (almost completely) for a month and a half and lost 30 pounds (which puts me in at the 170 - before that I was close to 200). I am happier at the lower weight, obviously, and even after my appetite came back I maintained it.
Now I am in the same basic situation. Another heartbreak, but this one I have to face on a daily basis at least for the next two months. I stopped eating again, about two weeks ago (I am trying to *make* myself eat this time, because I am literally too weak to do just about anything). My weight has dropped ten pounds in those two weeks (down to 160 - still not critical).
I don't know what to do. I can't imagine getting little to no food is helping the situation, and yet everytime I try to eat I throw up immediately.
I actually have a therapist, but there is nothing she can do but listen to me talk about all of this. I really don't know what to do at this point.

It sounds like you have multiple contributing factors to your eating situation. I'm really sorry about your breakups and the grief it's causing you.
I'm glad you've seen a therapist. What do you mean when you say "there is nothing she can do but listen to me talk about all this?" Are there things she isn't doing that you wish she would (questions she doesn't ask, things she doesn't pick up on, issues she glosses over...)? If you don't feel like it's a good match or it's not helping, you can always check out another therapist. However, be clear that *you're* the one doing all the work on your life. She needs to do a good job of helping you think about things clearly and teaching you the tools to manage your stress and grief, but the burden is really on you.
Secondly, if you genuinely get sick right after eating (i.e. you actually need to throw up and aren't forcing yourself to), you need to see a doctor. Actually, I would recommend seeing a doctor regardless. You really don't sound well. What are considered psychological problems (the post-breakup anxiety/ depression, for example) can have a huge impact on your physical well-being. But, your physical health can also make your psychological state worse and worse. Losing your appetite, dropping weight rapidly, and feeling weak are all good indicators that something is physically wrong. Even if you determine that it's all "just" psychological, you need to be taking steps to turn your physical health around. Lack of nourishment has a huge impact on mental and emotional functioning-- no matter your weight.
I'll be praying for you, and you're welcome to our board anytime.
Hugs,
Starfish
basically, i just want to say ditto to what starfishofc sed...
sorry i cant b more help; just wanted 2 let u no i read ur e-mail and totally agree with starfish sed..
lauren x x x x x