Jealous and miserable
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Jealous and miserable
| Tue, 07-13-2004 - 3:32pm |
One of my good friends is anorexic, and she's losing a lot of weight. I have had trouble with eating disorders, and I'm still really struggling, but I'm at a normal weight right now. The thing is, I would give anything to be like her. She works out all the time, and everyone is so concerned about her. I feel like no one cares about me. I feel so fat and unloved.
Stacy

Hi Stacy,
I know the competition issue within EDs is a tough one, but a desire to be anorexic-thin is not healthy to begin with. You need to try and focus on YOUR recovery and getting better, even if your friend continues to loose weight or get worse (which I hope and pray she won't).
How close are you and your friend? Do you talk openly about your eating disorders? Could you share your feeling with her or maybe even offer to help her? I find that when I try to help others, even if I don't feel like it, it helps me.
My guess is that you are not fat and I am sure that you are not unloved. Loosing weight and thinner will also not get you the love and attention you are looking for. People love us and
Love & hugs, Kristina
My friend and I are actually only e-mail friends. She's in England and I'm in the United States. We do talk pretty openly about our eating problems, but she hasn't been talking about hers for a while, and now I know why. It's because she's getting worse. I haven't been talking to her about mine since I found out how tiny she is because I'm too jealous and self-conscious. I know that it seems like it shouldn't be a big deal since we are only internet friends, but I've honestly known her for years. We started talking when we were 14, and we are both 20 now.
Stacy
Hi Stacy,
I understand. My very best friends used to be an 'online' friend. I felt closer to her than anybody else even before I met her in person. If you can, talk to your friend about it. She might understand exactly how you feel and that in itself might make it easier.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
I have sort of talked to her about how I feel. I just don't want to upset her, though. I feel like I am making this all about myself. I want to be able to be there for her and support her. I've admitted to her that I'm jealous, and she tells me not to be because she is miserable and she doesn't feel well, and that she thinks that I'm much more attractive than she is. I don't want to make it some kind of competition between us. She's been a really good friend to me, and I want to be the best friend that I can be to her in return. I do feel really jealous and horrible about myself, but at the same time, I feel really guilty for not thinking more about her and how she feels.
Stacy