apprehensive about it-need MAJOR ADVICE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
apprehensive about it-need MAJOR ADVICE!
5
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 3:19pm
SO I have been avoiding it for as long as I possibly can. I think I will have to suck it up and go on an antidepressant. Question is... which one.

SO here is my story... i will give the shortened version.

14... started to "diet"... 15 turned into full blow anorexia... 17 got treatment... 18 was "cured" - or so I thought... went off to college, we fine for 5.5 years. Met a guy... dated said guy... guy broke my heart... guy made my life a living hell (too complicated to get into)... life went into a tailspin... became bulimic at the age of 23 1/2.

So I am almost 25 now (turn 25 in a month) and have been bulimic for 1.5 years. It started off slow... but is full on now. I started going to therepy for it back in Feb., and at first it was working well. I was seeing a change, an improvement. Not 100%... but I wasn't throwing up 5-10 times a day. It started to get as infequent as 1-5 times a week. And I even found myself going a week without throwing up.

Well about a month ago, i made the record. I didn't throw up for almost 2 weeks (12 days to be exact). I was feeling great, getting on track... thought I was beating this monster once and for all. THen my grandma died, I went home for 5 days... and puked everything up for 5 days straight. Nothing stayed down. SInce then, I haven't been able to go more than a day without throwing up. I have been horrible for the past month/5 weeks. I keep telling myself I can do better, i am better than this, i don't need this, and I am stronger than this... but something snaps in my mometarily and to the toilet i go.

ANyway, here is my question. My therapist has been pushing me to give antidepressents a try... which I have been VERY reluctant to do b/c of the side effects... i.e. WEIGHT GAIN!!! I couldn't live with it. I know SSRI's are notorious for causing weight gain, I have done a ton of research on them, asked around, seen it first hand... and I know i am not guarenteed that I will be one of the "lucky" few to have this adverse side effect... but it is going to be a huge struggle to pop that pill in my mouth every knowing that it could happen. I read the Prozac is the number one and most effective for bulimia treatment. I have also read very mixed reviews on its weight gaining side effects.

So... to all of you who are bulimic and/or anorexic (both sides never hurt)... are you taking an Antidepressent? WHich one? Have you had side effects? Weight gain? WHat is you full and honest experience being on an AD? PLEASE... I am freaking out about going on one. I actually cried today about it b/c i made an appt. to see a pychologist about the possibility of going on one... and I haven't even gotten a prescribtion for one yet! EEKK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:32pm

Hey There!


I know all this is very scary - I've been there. First I want to remind you just because you are seeing a psychologist about possibly going on an AD doesn't mean you are actually going to take one. Right now you are just checking it out and considering your options.


And I am going to be honest, I took Prozac for a while and I hated being on them. It didn't really make me gain weight (my biggest fear at the time), but I had other side effects like not being able to sleep and others. So my doc added Wellbutrin and I still couldn't sleep and had other side effects. Then had added Xanax so I could sleep and as much as I hated being medicated there were days when I would take a Xanax (the prescribe dose was 1/2 at night) during the day so I could sleep the pain away. This was shortly after my Father passed away after a long, long battle with cancer.


However, there are also people they work really well for and they are on 20 mg a day and feel great. Others get on them, resolve their emotional issues - becaues they are able to with the help of ADs - and then get back off them slowly when they feel better.


There is an alternative however that you could easily try. Have you heard of 5-HTP (5 Hydroxy Tryptophan). It's a precursor to serotonin and I was taking it daily for a while. I started taking it for PMS and mostly the anxiety I had during PMS and it worked wonders. Eventually I didn't need it anymore except for on occasion. Sometimes when I have a really down day (again, usually during PMS), I take 100 mg of 5-HTP with a cup of green tea and within 20 to 30 minutes I feel a slight lift in my mood. The clinical herbologist who first told me about it said that SSRIs simply re-use the serotonin you already have. That means if you are lacking serotonin the SSRIs really aren't goign to help much anyway. The 5-HTP, being a precursor to serotonin, actually ends up raising serotonin levels. If you do a search on it you will get tons of info. It's available in health food stores and it's fairly inexpensive. There is also a good book on it by Murrey which you can read about at http://www.doctormurray.com/

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 9:00am
Thank you so much, that was a huge help and very informative. I know I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and I am not going to do something that I don't want to do. The thing is, I think I HAVE to possibly give AD a try. I am not doing so great in the bulimia department... it is getting pretty out of hand, and I can't get a handle on it. I fear that I am going to do some pretty bad damage, if not end up killing myself, due to all the stress and things I am doing to my body (I have heart palpatations, am always tired lately, massive heartburn... overall unhappiness). My therapist basically said that my mind is not allowing me to think rationally... which is true, otherwise i would be thinking/doing/acting the way I am. She said that I am going ot have to take a leap of faith and trust her and another Dr. (psychologist) to let them help me... and AD may be the best for that. She said that I may not gain weight, I may not have the side effects that some others have and that if I don't try it, how will I ever know. And she also said, like you, and my mom, nad my sister-in-law, that if i AM having side effects, I don't HAVE to stay on it. My problem is, my brain is not allowing me to think rationally or normally... so to take that first, second, thrid and subsequent pills every day, is going to be a major struggle. If i can't stop myself from vomitting every day...how the hell am I going to pop a little pill when i am if full fear of it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 9:57am
I agree with Kristina, that everyone is in charge of their own treatment and it us ultimately up to you whether or not you go on AD's. I resisted for a long time and then went off as soon as possible and relapsed terribly (went off against medical advice) and have now resigned myself to taking them for the long haul.

My experience is with wellbutrin, zyprexa and prozac and please remember that everyone's body is unique and I am NOT in the medical profession... I was on zyprexa for over a year and that is a mood stabilizer that seriously lowers metabolism. So my restrictive eating when on for that whole year with little weight loss. Most people gain huge amounts of weight on it. When I went off, my weight dropped to the point of physically needing treatment. Then they put me on prozac and I did gain some weight, but given how low I was anyway, I was eating so the wieght gain was healthy and not surprising... and frankly, more to do with eating than the medication (imo). I did not like it because it made me feel numb... which is better than major depression, but I did not like it. It also totally killed my sexual enjoyment, so, I went off against medical advice.

Was okay but had some withdrawal issues but within a year was falling back into the depressive state so before I got too far down, I went and asked to go back on meds. This time with wellbutrin. I have been on that ever since and I really like it because it does not effect my sexual function, and does not numb me to the point of not caring about anything. I will say that it is not supposed to be used with anyone with an eating disorder but I think doctor's wiegh out the cost verses benefit. good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 8:27pm
Yea I take wellibution and it's great. I don't think I have gain anything. execpt when I benge If you don't want to gain take wellibution.jodee
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 7:44pm
hi just a little info on the antidepressants.. i've tried them all (as i'm bipolar) and i'm on prozac and topomax and valium. prozac doesn't cause weight gain - it even says so. topomax makes you lose weight - that says so too, and valium, well, i'm just a little twitchy and can never sleep. so with my bipolar and ED i've managed a mix of meds that works. i hope this info helped. never never go on lithium, or, effexor, or celexa, they all cause weight gain. topamax is my favourite. alone it supresses hunger while helps you straighten things out in your mind so you don't have to worry about food intake as much. do you get what i'm saying? it's like being in limbo so you can work out all of your thought problems without having to worry about throwing up or this or that. take it easy. don't take my words to heart. this is just my experience. i'm no expert. do some research of your own and talk to your doctor. i hope everything works out well for you. ~phoenix