Bulimia free for 1yr&1/2...until today

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Bulimia free for 1yr&1/2...until today
4
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 8:34pm
Hi,

I'm new to these boards. I'm SO angry at myself. I was bulimic for 10 years and quit cold turkey a year and a half ago. It was the hardest thing I ever ever did, but I did it, and until today was overwhelminly proud of my accomplishment.

I don't understand what happened. I don't exactly know why I did it except that I felt guilty for eating so bad lately. I feel like I've gained lots of weight. I'm a runner (marathons) and my running regumines have hit a plateau, and I feel like I'm getting more out of shape than in.

Right now I just feel really, really guilty. I've done SO GOOD for so long, and I feel like I just committed this huge huge sin and I don't know how to forgive mysefl. It's not like the rest of my life is bad. I have a lovely boyfriend, an ok job - great family.

Has anyone had a breakdown after such a long time? How did you cope? did you forgive yourself?

Will this screw up my digestion? Make me regress more?

uggggh, I'm SO MAD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 9:04pm
It's a momentary lapse... and is NOT a failure.... just a lapse. Don't make it in to more than it is. You made it so long, and have done so well that you can be proud! Don't feel bad, you slipped. Pull yourself back up and take care of your body. You need to nurture yourself, not beat yourself up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 7:40am
I was anorexic for 4 years, got therapy, got better, was pleased with myself for doing such a great job and committing myself to being healthy and better. I lived ED free for 5.5 years... until I met "him".

Adam was awesome at first, then the mental abuse started... which is when the bulimia started. I kicked him to the curb... unfortunately I can not say the same for bulimia... that has stuck around. I am in therapy for it now, but have not been doing so great. I am seeing a Dr. next week to discuss my options as far as AD go...b/c i am doing horrible
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 9:56pm

Hi,


Before I

Love & hugs, Kristina

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:53pm
I agree. No worries. Slips are natural. Little red flags to say you are getting off course. Like those speed ridges on the edge of the highway.

In the last 5 years of my recovery, I definitely had a few slips here and there. But I started to realize that the release and the whole binge and everything weren't even good anymore. My mind never really goes there at all anymore. Although, sometimes I do get down on my body and that's my red flag now.

Good luck and ((((((((((hugs))))))))) to you!