PLEASE HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
PLEASE HELP!!
4
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 12:35am
I dont know what to do, one of my friends just died today, we thought she was getting better, but then it took a turn for the worse, she was only 18!!! She was the most amazing person you could ever meet, and she did not deserve to die!! She was in an accident on a lake about a week ago, and was on life support in the hospital. I feel sooo bad!! I dont want to have fun or anything b/c i feel like it's not fair to her. I also can eat, it just makes me feel sick. I wasnt really that close to her, althought we talked and were friends, it seems like most of the other friends, even ones who were much closer to her are doing better. I just feel like i want to do is cry all the time. It also doesnt help that my bf and I got in a fight today, This all just sucks sooo bad!! Anyways, the thing is, I have a feeling I'm going to go back into my "ED" patterns, I was doing really good for about a week, but not now. I feel so selfish!! Everone else is handling it much better than I am, and it's not that I want attention or anything!! But I just feel like I'm feeling sorry for myself or somthing, and its not fair I should be thinking of my friend and her family!! PLease help!! am I over-reacting!??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: caitlin2o05
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 6:57am

Hi Caitlin,


I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds truly devastating and I would be sad as well. Everybody has a different way of dealing with the loss of someone and for us with EDs, we tend to turn to our typical behaviours. Try not to feel guilty or selfish about it, but do try to find a different way of dealing with all the emotions you have coming up. Is there anybody you can talk to about how you are feeling? Do you have a therapist you can discuss this with? You shouldn't be going through this by yourself.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: caitlin2o05
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:16pm
Thank you for replying Kristina, things are getting a little better, It's easier if I just don't think about it. To answer your question, no, I dont really have anyone to talk to about this. Nobody really knows about my "problems" except my best friend (who herself had an ED about a year ago) I only feel comforitable talking about it with her b/c she really understands. My BF also kinda knows, but I try not to say much around him b/c he will tell my parents, which I know he is just trying to help. The thing is, and I know you have replied to me about this before,I just dont feel I have a "true ED" I'm only a tiny bit underweigh, and MOST the time I do eat normal, its only when im stressed or upset that I tend to not eat, or at least think about no eating. So im afraid if I did go to a therpist or something they would tell me nothing is wrong, and I would feel like a hypocondreact(spelling?) :( I dont know what to do, its only going to get worse when school starts b/c I'm going to be sooo busy, and I dont like eating lunch at school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: caitlin2o05
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:45pm

Sorry, I remember now. Just give it some thought and don't rule out seeing a therapist entirely. My weight is normal yet I go see a therapist. I also don't purge anymore, nor do I starve myself or purge anymore, that doesn't mean my ED is completely gone and I don't need or deserve help. EDs have a way of getting worse if you don't get help. Right now you may "just" not eat when you are stressed, but that could easily lead to constant starvation and/or binge/purge cycles.


Try to keep posting here so you get some support, but like I said before, this is not enough. You need someone to talk to in person, to give you hugs when you're down, and someone who will listen when you need to talk.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: caitlin2o05
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 10:58pm
Thank you so much for all your help. I've been meaning to thank you and everyone else on this board. I think it is so amazing that ppl. are willing to share their personal stories and advice in order to help others. Thank you for everything you do! :)