Having trouble again...T

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2004
Having trouble again...T
1
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 10:08pm
Hi, everyone...

My name is Jen, and I used to post here several years ago. I'm having trouble again, and thought maybe I could post here, and find some people who won't criticize me, as I'm finding in my life.

I've had anorexia for many years...hard to pinpoint when it really started, troubles with food. But three years ago I went into treatment, and came out relatively happy and healthy. On the outside. Inside I was still as obsessed with food as ever, but I tried to deny that to myself.

Now, because of a lot of things going on in my life, I'm having trouble again. One of the biggest problems I'm having right now is with a girl I'm dating (I'm gay), and we're having a lot of trouble with some big issues, that might lead us to end our relationship. That's making me not want to eat. And I have Bipolar disorder, which is not currently very well under control. I'm beginning a new semester at school in a week, and that makes me feel a huge amount of pressure. Its all leading to me not eating again.

So far, I haven't lost much weight...maybe 5 pounds. But all of those triggers that should have gone away when I was in treatment are back. I feel so "high" when I'm not eating, and feel so in control and its becoming addictive. I don't want to fall into the old patterns that I've gotten away from, but I feel like I've already taken that step.

Well, thanks for listening...

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 6:58am

Hi Jen,


Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now. You have great awareness about what is making you want to eat or not eat and that's half the battle. Are you in therapy by any chance or did you stop therapy after the treatment you mentioned? Since you were still struggling on the inside after your treatment, it would have been good to continue counseling. It would be great if you could find a therapist now to help you work through some of the difficult things you have going on in your life right now.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina