relapse?
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relapse?
| Mon, 08-30-2004 - 2:30pm |
OK. Here's my story. My biggest trigger is failing. I always get so close to things that I want, but then don't. Then I feel not good enough, so I decide to do something I am good at...not eating. I have been in recovery for over 2 years now and have been doing well and loving my life. But, I just had a big letdown. I didn't get a job that was promised to me. I'm deathly afraid that I will relapse because of this. I need some support.

Huge hugs to you. Have you mentioned this particular issue to your therapist?
Hugs, Michelle
Hi, I am glad you came here for support. It is so easy for us to slip back into our old bad habits when life doens't go quite as we had planned. Is there anybody you can talk to in person that can be supportive right now? The board is great for support and people who can relate, but it's good to have someone you can actually talk to in addition to the board.
And while I don't know the whole situation, I doubt that you didn't get the job because you are 'failing'. That's ED talking - try to affirm the opposite and don't let those negative thoughts get you down.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Your message really hit home, although, at this point in my life, I try my best to leave eating disorder-related thoughts out of any unrelated equation. I spent a good couple of months (what seemed like the longest and most trying couple of months of my life!) looking for a job related to my educational background (Biological Sciences/Neuroscience) and/or career interests (Medicine)- after graduating from college last June/taking the MCAT (Medical College Admissions Test) this past April- only to finally land a job as a Biologist for a pharmaceutical company in July. However, the exhausting process of searching, interviewing and being side-stepped by one company after the next really led me to appreciate how important both *timing* and *fate* are with respect to finding the job that is best for you (of course, I was only able to find solace in this wisdom post-facto!). Though it is easy to fall back on an eating disorder when things don't go your way, you must realize/have faith that there is probably a much bigger reason why. The universe watches over people in often-mysterious ways; I prefer to think that when the time is right for you to find a worthy job and the right job comes along (remember that the "right" job for you won't necessarily be what you think is the right job for you), things will naturally fall into place. Point and fact: life doesn't always pan out the way we envision it, which is often a big stroke of luck! Not eating may make you feel better about yourself temporarily, but it won't change the present and it will certainly zap you of the precious energy you need to shake things off, pick yourself up and keep moving forward in an attempt to make ends meet. I, too, have a bad habit of interpreting disappointments as failures, but the key is to catch yourself as soon as you notice yourself starting to roll downhill; every time you let your eating disorder take control, your one shot at life is passing you by. You are stronger and more capable than any disease- let's take life by the horns, kiddo! Live, learn from these challenges and keep going- you can do it. Feel free to keep in touch if you need an extra source of encouragement. All the best to you...