went to therapy made a decision
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went to therapy made a decision
| Thu, 09-09-2004 - 10:07am |
I went to see my therapist last night and I told her that I would look into going to an out patient thing and she told me she would get me the info..
I didnt tell her how I purged my veggies I was too embarrassed I used to do that a while ago but stopped..
she knows that I went a few days with no food...
but anyways I am so afraid to go to a group what if I look at the other women there and they are skinny and all I can think about is how can I get as thin as them what if I get upset and starve myself even more just so I can be thinner than anyone else there..that is my biggest issue I have to always be smaller than others
I just wanted to say thank you for the info to all.
I know that I am being a hog with not responding to posts I guess cause I am still new here..
I am also not sure how ready I am to accept that there is something wrong with me to accept that I would have to give up my diet pills my fiber pills stuff like that it is so hard I dont know if I am ready for that..
How did all of you come to the conclusion that this all had to stop how did you all get to a place where you were okay with just stopping and getting better..
I would love to hear others stories maybe it will help me take the step that I may have to take some day.
Erin

I've been reading about your struggles. (((HUGS)))
First, yes... you do have an eating disorder. I know because you and I have many of the same behaviors. I know what you're going through.
I started in an out patient ED recovery program two weeks ago. I wasn't ready to give up any of MY stuff either... like the pills, the purging, the starving, the control. You know what? No ONE will take those things away from you. I still have all of them. I'm not READY to give them up yet, and my ED therapist knows this. She says she's just going to help
Hi Erin,
Rayah is absolutely right - nobody will take anything away from you or MAKE you stop your behaviour. They will try to help you, but in the end you are the one who has to follow through in YOUR time.
When I went to different groups there was part of me that wanted to be as thin as one or more of the other women, but I don't feel that it made me starve myself more than I already was. Also, I opened up about it in the group and then just about everybody else admitted that they feel the same way. See, the thing is you may THINK they are thinny, but they necessarily are not. And besides that, they are there for the same reason you are - an ED. Be as open and honest as you possibly can. You will be amazed how you might think something you are thinking or doing is HORRIBLE and when you finally open up you realize there is at least one other person who thinks or does the same thing. You're not alone Sweetie and I think this group will be a good thing.
And you will know when you are at that point where you just HAVE to change. Everybody has a different point at which they hit bottom and just can't go on the way they used to. Just hang in there and you will figure things out. Continue to go to counseling, posting here, talking to anybody close to you who knows about your ED, etc.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina