I hate this *Triggers*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
I hate this *Triggers*
2
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 7:06pm
Hi everyone,

I really need some sort of inspiration or encouragement right now. I just feel so sick of having thoughts of food/weight loss/etc. running through my mind 24/7. I have gotten to the point where I can't eat anything without feeling gross and fat and I always OD on laxatives if I eat over a certain amount. I keep getting really sick from doing this, but in a way I like it because it caues me so much pain that it actually takes my mind off of food thoughts. I have gone to only a few hours of class since it started a few weeks ago and this is stressing me out because I am on academic probation already. I am so sad and I hurt inside so much, but I can't even cry anymore I feel dead inside. I think alot about ways of ending all this pain. At this point I feel like I just want to keep ongoing with all the restricting and exercising and maybe I will get sick enough to die.

I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but my first post about a month ago was asking for help on "how to ask for help" well I did tell my psychiatrist the truth and now I have been sent to a new psych. I don't feel like it helps at all going to see him though because I don't feel comfortable telling him anything. He just keep wanting to put me on medication......when what I really need right now if to tell him all the hurt that has consummed my every waking thought these days.

This message probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to tell someone how I am feeling.....I am just in need of any recognition that I still exist and am worthy of caring support.

Thank-you for reading,

Aria

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 6:20am

Hi Aria,


Your message does make sense and I can relate to your pain. I know how hard it is because I have been there.


If your psychiatrist is not helping then I would try to find someone else. You may want to find a psychologist or therapist other than a psychiatrist because they may not want to put you on anti-depressants that fast and let you talk instead. It sounds like that's what you really need right now.


It sounds like you are in college. Can you find out if they have free counseling services for students? If not, you may be able to find a counselor on www.somethingfishy.org. Another option is calling churches - they sometimes offer free counseling services even if you don't attend their church.


Let me know...

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 4:52pm

Aria,


I agree with what Kristina told you. something fishy is a great place to start (o: Churches are excellent too.


Hugs, and post anytime, Michelle