I like bones..I admitted it ..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
I like bones..I admitted it ..
2
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:49am


I belong to another board here at ivillage..

and one of the ladies there whom I have become friends with asked me if I find the look of bones attractive and yes I do find them attractive when I see an actress or a regular woman Iand they are very thin I look at them and I get upset because I am not as small as they are and I want to be I want my bones to stick out to me that is beauty that is also the reason why I am afraid to go to group therapy what if I aspire to look like the girls who are smaller than me..I alsready restirct my eating and vomit if I eat more than what I am allowed to eat..

So what do you do I know tha tI need help or I will die trying but for me it is going to be way too hard for me to sit here in a group therapy session and have these girls be smaller than me that is very hard for me to handle so how do you do it?

I find thin womaen to be so much more attractive than average looking woem I want to be one of those super thin women that I see I want the bones and I dont have them ya my hip bones stick out a little but not enough my colar bone also but that is normal...

What I want os bad is to be small right now I am around I dont know 105 I used to be 90-95lbs.. 105 is too big for me I am 5'2 and I just feel like a house

I just dont knwo what to do anymore I dont think that going to troup will be good for me although it would be a good motivator to become smaller

I am in therapy right now and I also see a shrink so it isnt like I am not getting mental help and I tell my therapist everything although I am afraid to tell her about th vomiting I didnt do it yesterday I did it the other day though but I plan on telling her about the bones..

help please

Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 4:45pm

Erin,


I have the bones issue too! I have to be able to see certain bones sticking out or I freak out. I am the same as you with famous people too..... I think it is common and "normal" with an ED.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 6:51pm

Erin,


That obsession with bones will get better eventually. I used to feel the same way. Now when I do get thinner I actually get to a point where I just feel too thin and don't want to get any smaller.


Like Michelle said, if group seems too stressful right now then don't go. However, it is really, really important that you are completely honest with your therapist. You said you tell her everything except for the vomiting. Well, you are leaving out a very important part of your ED. I know it's scary, but try to be honest with her next time you see her. Tell her/him your fears about going to group, too. Keep in mind, nobody can MAKE you do anything. A therapist can't MAKE you stop vomiting just because you are honest about it. That's the ultimate goal but it will happen when YOU are ready.

Love & hugs, Kristina


The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.

Love & hugs, Kristina