~*~*~*Reality Check*~*~*~
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| Fri, 09-24-2004 - 11:42am |
I was reading the posts under 'So what do you do if..' and was going to reply to both jukie and stardoll. Then I realized that this probaby applies to all of us so I decided to post it in a new message.
Stardoll and Jukie you were talking about weight gain/loss and stardoll you were saying you got down to 127 from 5'8" yet you still feel fat. You have seen a picture of me and said how good I look. I am 5'8" and while I normally don't post my weight, I hover around 135 typically. Now, if you think I look good (assuming you were being honest!), and you have LOST weight, how can you possibly be fat?
This is where the reality check comes in. I want all of you to consciously remind yourself every, several times a day if necessary, that you CANNOT see what everybody else sees. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you actually see someone who is much bigger than you really are. Find an accountability partner -a good friend, boyfriend, parent, husband, etc.- someone you trust, and have them tell you how you really look. I use my husband and my best friend Patty. Although Patty knows that I still have body image issues if she felt I was big or getting bigger, she would tell me honestly. So when she tells me I look good, I believe her, I remind myself that the "i am too big" thought are strictly in MY head and NOT reality.
I am not saying that you will suddenly feel better and see yourself the way you really look. It will take some time and some work. But with diligence, perserverance, and most of all, consciously working on it, you WILL get there. I want to remind you again that I went from struggling with bulimia and anorexia for about 24 years and now I eat A LOT of food in one day, I literally pour oil on my meals, I don't get as upset as I used to when my clothes are a little tighter, I obsess about food all day long, I don't fear social events or going out to eat, etc. The only regret I have is that I did not do anything about my ED sooner.
You need to get out of the ED thoughts and get into some positive thoughts. When you *feel* fat, that feeling is a result of you *thinking* you are fat. So when you feel fat, take a step back and pay attention to what you are thinking. Then CHANGE your thoughts. Say to yourself out loud or in your mind, "I have a beautiful body". I really don't care if you believe it or not, do it anyway because the more you do it the more it will become a habit. That's how i eventually changed my thinking. I picked about 10 to 15 positive affirmations, things that applied to MY life, and then I wrote them over and over and over every morning and every night. I picked 2 or 3 that I memorized and repeated to myself during the day. Again, this will not work or happen overnight, but eventually, if you keep practicing, you thoughts WILL change and as a result the you feel WILL change.
OK, I will stop now because I don't want you to feel like I am lecturing. LOL I can just see you guys doing exactly what I used to do and wanted to share a few of many things that helped me. I care about all of you and want nothing more than for all of you to have freedom...and you can!
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
