living (and eating) with others
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| Wed, 10-20-2004 - 2:21pm |
hi everyone... decided i'd finally come check out this message board... i've been anorexic about 11 years now... i'm 26 and have an almost 6 yr old son... i'm hanging in somewhere in healthy weight range for my height & build... but i've been starving myself again...
from may til about the last week of september i was living in a bad situation which just continously got worse... my eating was way low again... then just a bit over a week ago my SO, my son, and i moved into SO's mom's house with his mom & brother. SO was hoping my eating would improve once we were out of the stressful living situation, but his mom's has proven to have plenty of its own stressors... couple living with her moved out in a big ugly huff... she worries alot, which stresses me out... equals me not eating... one of the worst things is she makes huge meals and expects everyone to sit down for them... that just makes me so uncomfortable... SO has tried to explain that eating smaller meals is what works best for me... but she still frets about the whole eating thing, which is continuing to stress me out so I don't want to eat... about the only time i want to eat any more is when i'm alone here or out at a restaurant... any suggestions? btw his mom is 64 yr old stuck-in-her way type mom...
on a side note, been having an irritating rash on my one side (underneath where the boning from my longline bra is)... could this be from my poor eating recently? bathing regularly hasn't made is any better, that i can tell
blessed be
Joelle
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Hi Joelle,
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. While moving away from a stressful situation can be good, change is always difficult for people, especially when you have an ED. And like you said, the new situation has its own stressors.
Is this a permanent situation or temporary? It sounds like it would be better for you if you, your SO, and your son had your own place. Either way, I would look into seeing a therapist as well, if you are not already. Trying to deal with all that stress on your own, most likely with your ED, is not going to help the situation. Have you talked to your SO about how you are feelign right now? It's important that you have someone to talk to and get it out in the open (besides this board of course). Based on the comment your SO made about you doing better with smaller meals I assume he knows about your ed?!
Anyway, please keep checking in and let us know how things are going. I hope your situation will improve and that you will be able to take care of yourself.
Love & hugs, Kristina
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
yup SO knows all about my ED and because of how pervasive it is (often I joke that I can only say I'm a "recovering" anorexic 'cause I know my eating isn't healthy), he often has a better handle of how I'm doing than I do myself. It's pretty regular for him to check every day when he gets home from work what I've eaten that day.
the situation is temporary, although we're not exactly sure how temporary. he hopes to have saved up enough money to afford the down payment on a house within 6 months to a year. I've been in & out of therapy since I was 13yrs and only once had a positive experience with it (college therapist at college I was kicked out of for emotional problems). plus between lack of money and no insurance, can't go see a therapist now, even if I was really willing... it would have to be a very specific fit to find someone I would actually be comfortable seeing & I'm not sure such a person exists.
I've been thinking and I've decided I'm going to talk it over with SO tonight... I want to say that I need to not have a place set for me at the table for supper for at least a few days. I've told him specifically that the focus on sit down meals is stressing me out & making me want to start starving myself again. to that effect, he's made the comments I shared in my first post.
I'll make sure I come back :) .
blessed be
Joelle
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bcmomwrites
Love and Light, Joelle
Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.
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