Need Help With Girlfriend
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Need Help With Girlfriend
| Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:41pm |
Hello all,
This is my first time to these message boards. I am coming here because of an issue I have with my girlfriend. We have been together for awhile and are in love and plan to get married once we are done with school. She had told me that before the summer she had an eating disorder where she basically starved herself and did tons and tons of exercise for two months straight. She said she told her doctor and the doctor told her to just listen to what she (the doctor) said and that she (my girlfriend) would be fine. She even told her mother as well what had happened. Neither listened even though she said that she would start to starve herself if she didnt get help. She told me the other night that one night in September she stupidly made herself throw up. She used to try sometimes but it never work but this time she didnt stop trying and it worked and now she's scared what's going to happen because she's getting these thoughts back again. I'm really scared for her as well. She doesn't want to go to a therapist. She says that these thoughts that people with eating disorders have don't ever go away and that it's something that she'll have to always live with. She does, however, want to go to a nutritionist. I want her to as well because if she really does want to lose weight (which I dont think she needs to but I could understand if she does), I want to make sure she does it in a safe and healthy way. She wants to go to a nutritionist but she cant tell her mother because last year when she did, her mother didnt care and it hurt her a lot. What should I do??? I love her to death and it would rip me apart to see something god forbid happen to her. Do I go ahead and tell her mother behind her back!?!? I told her I wouldn't do that but what if that's really the best thing??? If I DONT tell her mother, how can I convince her to possibly talk to her mother about it herself??? And if she still won't tell her mother, is there any way she can try and get some nutritional help (she says she needs a structured thing otherwise it wouldnt work) that she can do on her own???? Thank you so much in advance!!!! I look forward to hearing all your responses!!!
This is my first time to these message boards. I am coming here because of an issue I have with my girlfriend. We have been together for awhile and are in love and plan to get married once we are done with school. She had told me that before the summer she had an eating disorder where she basically starved herself and did tons and tons of exercise for two months straight. She said she told her doctor and the doctor told her to just listen to what she (the doctor) said and that she (my girlfriend) would be fine. She even told her mother as well what had happened. Neither listened even though she said that she would start to starve herself if she didnt get help. She told me the other night that one night in September she stupidly made herself throw up. She used to try sometimes but it never work but this time she didnt stop trying and it worked and now she's scared what's going to happen because she's getting these thoughts back again. I'm really scared for her as well. She doesn't want to go to a therapist. She says that these thoughts that people with eating disorders have don't ever go away and that it's something that she'll have to always live with. She does, however, want to go to a nutritionist. I want her to as well because if she really does want to lose weight (which I dont think she needs to but I could understand if she does), I want to make sure she does it in a safe and healthy way. She wants to go to a nutritionist but she cant tell her mother because last year when she did, her mother didnt care and it hurt her a lot. What should I do??? I love her to death and it would rip me apart to see something god forbid happen to her. Do I go ahead and tell her mother behind her back!?!? I told her I wouldn't do that but what if that's really the best thing??? If I DONT tell her mother, how can I convince her to possibly talk to her mother about it herself??? And if she still won't tell her mother, is there any way she can try and get some nutritional help (she says she needs a structured thing otherwise it wouldnt work) that she can do on her own???? Thank you so much in advance!!!! I look forward to hearing all your responses!!!

Seeing a therapist is a great idea and I am glad your GF is open to it. She also seems to want to recover which is another good thing. However, I would strongly recommend that she does find a therapist. You did not mention your age, so I am not sure if she would need assistance from her parents. If so, you might be able to find a church that offers free counseling regardless of membership at the church. There are also group meetings that can be helpful like www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org, www.overeatersanonymous.org, and www.celebraterecovery.com (I would check out the latter first!).<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Love & hugs, Kristina