dont know if i have a problem
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| Fri, 11-11-2005 - 2:48pm |
Hi Everyone
Im new to this only discovered this board today im not sure if im in the right place
im 26 years old ive always had issues with my body and self image my sister suffered with anorexia when i was about 8 being around someone who has issues with food body image i grow up thinking it was "normal" behavier for many years my weight has been high and low i abused laxatives have episodes of binging and restricting i got throught this bad patch
now at present in last 6 7 months or so ive started taking diet pills and restricting food i feel "happier" when im not eating and when i do eat im full of guilt my life has been a rollercoster this year by far being the worst i caught pneumonia 6 times each time being admitted to hospital my son was born 6 weeks prem in april i still have on going problems with the pneumonia coming and going im on steriods antibiotics i feel as if ive lost complete control over my body its not doing what its suppose to at the moment i feel good because in some way im pnishing my self i had no control over my son being born early or over my pneumonia, the last two days have been the worst i havent eaten a thing i know i should but ive got fear that once i start i wont be able to stop i sooooo want to understand why im feeling like this, im sorry if im not making any sence i dont think i know what im trying to say i dont know if i have a problem or not im not underweight and i dont purge i feel so alone at the moment i dont have anyone i can talk to who would understand they may even think ive lost the plot
would like anyone opinion on this
sorry for woffling on
tina

Hi Tina,
No need to apologize - you are not woffling on. The board is here so you can share what's going on, vent, 'cry', or what ever you need at the moment. And what you said makes perfect sense because I've been there - not with pneumonia and a pre-mature baby, but I can relate to feeling like I have no control over things and then turning to food or starvation.
It does sound like you have more than just the average female concern about your body going on. You already mentioned that the lack of control is tough and that you are sort of punishing yourself. That's great awareness but I realize awareness alone is not going to help you get better.
You have a lot going on and you have an unhealthy view of eating and your body from what I can tell. If I were you I would try to find a good therapist and start regular sessions. Addressing the underlying issues of your ED will help you to have a normal relationship with food. The starvation, obsession about your body, or even bingeing and purging are just manifestations of a greater problem that you haven't dealt with. I would also continue to post here and get as much support as you need. Sometimes just knowing that there are others who can relate to what you are going through helps.
Please check back in and let me know what you think.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Hi Tina -- welcome to the board, sorry you are having the problems you are.
~Diana~